Looking in on our coverage of a big motor show in Germany, I see something called the "Gunbus," described as "the biggest motorcycle in the world."

How big is it?  It's over 11 feet long, which means it would be sort of like enjoying the freedom of the open road in a stretch limo without the body attached.

What sheer marketing genius, to take the most fabled, romantic, iconically independent travel machine in history, and introduce the word "bus" to the name!

It's like running into the dudes from "Easy Rider" waiting for a Greyhound.

Just imagine. When you stop at a biker hangout and the other guys are looking for somebody to beat up, who do you think is going to attract their attention?

They're going to be like, "Hey, look at the dork with low self-esteem whose bike has a guest bedroom attached! Let's beat the crap out of him!"

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A model poses with 'Gunbus', the biggest motorcycle in the world, according to its manufacturer, during a press presentation prior to the Essen Motor Show in Essen, November 27, 2009. REUTERS/Ina Fassbender

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Blog Guy, I saw a photo of a ballerina smoking, which really disturbed me. I think of everything having to do with ballet as being healthy and squeaky-clean.

You couldn't be more wrong. As an art form, classic ballet makes rap look like gospel singing. At least this ballerina is smoking backstage. Until fairly recently, dancers smoked and took swigs from vodka bottles while dancing onstage.

Are you sure about this, Blog Guy?

Oh, grow up. Have you seen "The Sleeping Beauty," one of the most popular ballets? The subtext here is that the princess is too hammered to stand up.

No!

And THE most endearing ballet, "The Nutcracker." Oh please, giant dancing mice battle a walnut-cracking soldier? That's an absinthe and acid flashback if ever there was one!

Wait a second, Blog Guy. Surely my very favorite, "Swan Lake," is a wholesome tale?

Oh, you mean "Those Swans are So Beautiful, Hand me my Crossbow?"

Blog Guy, do you really know anything about the ballet?

About as much as any other subject. Why do you ask?

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Above: A Croatian ballet dancer smokes in a theater cafe during a break in rehearsals for a new ballet show, in Zagreb, November 26, 2009. REUTERS/Nikola Solic

Right: A general view during the dress rehearsal for The Nutcracker ballet at the Sadlers Wells Theatre in London, in a 2007 file photo. REUTERS/Eddie Keogh

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Blog Guy, I saw a photo of a ballerina smoking, which really disturbed me. I think of everything having to do with ballet as being healthy and squeaky-clean.

You couldn't be more wrong. As an art form, classic ballet makes rap look like gospel singing. At least this ballerina is smoking backstage. Until fairly recently, dancers smoked and took swigs from vodka bottles while dancing onstage.

Are you sure about this, Blog Guy?

Oh, grow up. Have you seen "The Sleeping Beauty," one of the most popular ballets? The subtext here is that the princess is too hammered to stand up.

No!

And THE most endearing ballet, "The Nutcracker." Oh please, giant dancing mice battle a walnut-cracking soldier? That's an absinthe and acid flashback if ever there was one!

Wait a second, Blog Guy. Surely my very favorite, "Swan Lake," is a wholesome tale?

Oh, you mean "Those Swans are So Beautiful, Hand me my Crossbow?"

Blog Guy, do you really know anything about the ballet?

About as much as any other subject. Why do you ask?

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Above: A Croatian ballet dancer smokes in a theater cafe during a break in rehearsals for a new ballet show, in Zagreb, November 26, 2009. REUTERS/Nikola Solic

Right: A general view during the dress rehearsal for The Nutcracker ballet at the Sadlers Wells Theatre in London, in a 2007 file photo. REUTERS/Eddie Keogh

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Blog Guy, I'm sick and tired of the violence all around me, and I want to do something to protest it. What's a good idea?

Well, you could get a tattoo, like these people in Cuba protesting violence.

No, see, you don't understand. Why would I go through something involving pain if I want to protest violence?

Ah, I see your point. Then maybe you should get a body piercing, instead, like some of these other protesters. Maybe your navel, or nose, or tongue, or...

No! That's even worse! I'm anti-violence. I want something peaceful....

Right, now I get it. How about cutting off your leg with a hacksaw?

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A woman reacts as she has an object pierced and placed in her navel during the No Violence festival in Havana November 21, 2009. Brother Saiz, an association of young Cuban artists, organized the festival and used tattoos and body piercing to draw people's attention to gender violence issues.

An artist tattoos on a man's back during the No Violence festival in Havana November 21, 2009.

A man has an image of the late rebel hero Ernesto "Che" Guevara tattooed on his body during the No Violence festival in Havana November 21, 2009.

REUTERS/Stringer photos

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People say to me, "Bob, what are YOU thankful for on this Thanksgiving?" and I tell them plenty of stuff, because I am truly blessed.

I'm thankful for family, friends, home and health, and a chance to entertain people with this blog, which I may actually start doing any day now.

I'm also thankful that as of 2:30 p.m. today I haven't caught even the briefest glimpse of the Macy's Parade, and that I live in a country where nobody can force me to listen to ukulele music.

But I guess most of all, I'm thankful that I'm not either of these guys in these pictures... Life is great!

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Left: Detroit Lions fan wears a turkey hat on his head before the start of the Thanksgiving Day NFL football game against the Green Bay Packers in Detroit, Michigan November 26, 2009.

Right: Green Bay Packers fan wears a cheese head hat with a fake turkey on top before the start of the game.

REUTERS photos by Rebecca Cook

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Blog Guy, I heard on the news that some poor man died a fiendishly horrible death a couple of days ago over there in Spain. Do you know what I'm talking about?

Yes, and we have a photo from the unspeakably tragic scene. Some sensitive readers may wish to stop reading at this point.

Is it really true that the guy...

Yes, he was sucked into a huge cotton candy machine at a carnival, and there was no way to turn it off in time.

This once again focuses on the hideous danger of cotton candy machines, which kill about 40,000 people a year world-wide and pull off countless arms and legs, spinning and flossing them into a macabre "treat."

I had no idea...

Why do you think most cotton candy is the color it is? It doesn't start out that way, if you catch my drift. It's from the body parts that are in the mix.

Where do you think the phrase "pinky" comes from, and the expression "in the pink."

Blog Guy, I think this is more of your made-up horse poop.

You may be right. My fact-checker isn't working today, and I'm off to have some turkey.

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Manuel Bandera performs during a rehearsal of the musical "Chicago" in Madrid November 19, 2009. REUTERS/Nacho Doce

A child eats cotton candy during a temple fair in Beijing January 19, 2009. REUTERS/Jason Lee

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It's that time of year again, when college seniors start asking me for career advice.

"Bob," writes one student at a northeastern college, "I picked up a glossy pamphlet on the exciting field of professional frisking.

"I'm good with my hands, so I thought this might be an option for me."

Well, I get this question a lot, and of course there is much to be said for this glamorous career. You do get to grope interesting people, and use phrases like "Spread 'em," "You know the drill," and "Up against the wall, pond-scum!"

Best of all it's mostly night work, which leaves your days free to do whatever it is you thought you were going to do with that Art History degree.

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Top: A suspect is frisked by a policeman patrolling the slum district of Petare in Caracas, November 21, 2009.

Left: A 15-year-old girl is searched for weapons by a policewoman during a raid near a hospital at the slums of Petare in Caracas, November 22, 2009.

REUTERS photos by Carlos Garcia Rawlins

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Hold it right there, Blog Guy! I'm calling you out on something! Yesterday, you had a supposed beauty pageant shot where the contestants were all standing in front of a faraway building. Was that the ONLY picture you had from that event?

No, of course not. In addition to the So Far Away They Look Like Ants photo, we did cover the other portions of that pageant. Have a look:

• Contestants stand akimbo in a dimly-lit interrogation room
• Contestant inspects empty office space
• Contestants jammed into Over-Capacity Glass Elevators smile as they hurtle to certain death

There, does that answer your concerns?

No, I'm also concerned you used the word akimbo in a blog where we're never supposed to learn anything.

Well then, whatever you do, don't click on it.

Miss Sevilla slideshow

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Top left: Contestants of the Miss Sevilla pageant wearing traditional Sevillana dresses wait backstage before a presentation in Seville, Spain, November 24, 2009.

Top right: A contestant of the Miss Sevilla pageant wearing a traditional Sevillana dress walks during a presentation.

Contestants of the Miss Sevilla pageant wearing traditional Sevillana dresses stand in elevators during a presentation.

REUTERS photos by Marcelo del Pozo

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Blog Guy, you seem to know a lot about nature. Can swans fly?

No. They can neither fly nor swim.

What? Hold on, I've SEEN swans swimming in lakes and rivers and stuff!

No, you've seen swans, which have very long legs, PRETENDING to swim. Mostly, though, they prefer to travel by boat.

Is that right? And where are they going in these photos?

Well, first they're going to the doctor, and then for a treat they're going to the ballet.

Which ballet?

"Swan Lake," of course.

Sigh. I know I'll regret asking this, but why are they going to the doctor?

Don't you read the papers? It's time for swan flu vaccinations

Blog Guy, that's moronic even by your standards.

Yeah, but I have tickets to a good show, so this will have to be my...

No! Don't say it!

Swan song...

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Swan keeper Olaf Niess watches swans sitting in boats after he and council workers rounded up them from Hamburg's inner city lake Alster November 23, 2009. Every year the swans are collected from waterways around the northern German city of Hamburg and taken to winter quarters where they are fed and cared for until the spring. REUTERS/Christian Charisius

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Quick quiz: The photo above shows...

1. a popular Village People tribute group
2. a Las Vegas City Council meeting
3. an actual Hubble Telescope photograph of heaven
4. a cheap, desperate, pathetic attempt to boost blog traffic by running a vulgar commercial event into the ground

Hey, congratulations to you readers who correctly identified the Vegas City Council!

Come back tomorrow for photos of a Las Vegas School Board meeting!

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Above: Models wave after presenting creations at the 2009 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show in New York, November 19, 2009.

Below: Model Marisa Miller presents a creation during the fashion show.

REUTERS photos by Lucas Jackson

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