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from Oddly Enough Blog:
The last huzzah?
So this is the end. The last post for this blog.
It's a good thing we've said our farewells, because this is also the last day for new comments.
Today, this site freezes in time. You can always revisit it for a little nostalgia, like that old amusement park in the creepy part of town, with all the chains and cobwebs.
Former presidential candidate Herman Cain was fond of telling his supporters, "Stupid people are ruining America!"
Well, maybe that's true, Herman, but stupid people also provide cheap entertainment, which is a useful service. We should thank them for it, without using any big words.
My readers, my commenters, my friends, you are the best. You can find me on Facebook. Some of you have even found me in person, so please remember I know how to get restraining orders.
from Oddly Enough Blog:
The best goofy but true stories from 2011
As I said recently in a post which began a countdown to tomorrow's final entry in this blog, one of the things I have enjoyed most is presenting stories that are goofy but true.
Sure, it's fun to make up funny stuff and riff on news photos, but real life often finds a way to top me.
Here are my seven favorite TRUE stories featured in my blog this year.
7. Come over to my yard for a fling?
We've had fun with an epidemic of consumer product recalls this year, but I still break out laughing over this one, a hammock that was recalled because its wooden stand may break "“if left outdoors.”
from Oddly Enough Blog:
You’ve got till tomorrow to pay up, pal…
Blog Guy, I know you're following the New Hampshire primary closely for your readers. All state primaries follow pretty much the same format, right?
Not at all. The New Hampshire race mainly involves a series of physical challenges between hopefuls and local voters. The one who wins the most fights wins the primary.
Wait just a minute, Blog Guy. Is that really true?
Sure. Here you can see former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney arm-wrestling a barber in Manchester. Romney beat the guy.
And here on the right is a photo of almost-candidate Donald Trump, picking a fight with a New Hampshire resident a few months ago. It's a very brutal system.
from Oddly Enough Blog:
The stuff dream photos are made of…
Hey, Blog Guy, I'm here! Do you recognize me?
I am in the presence of the Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come?
No, you dimwit. This isn't "A Christmas Carol." I'm the guy who sets up all those great fantasy photos for your readers, so I'm sorry to see it's going away.
Well, thanks for all your good work. You've pulled off pictures I would have thought impossible, especially the ones involving world leaders.
You're much too kind, Blog Guy. With the huge budget you gave me, let's just say miracles could be performed.
I loved that time you got Nicolas Sarkozy to grab...
from Oddly Enough Blog:
Seinfeld, a show about bupkis…
Blog Guy, you have the most authoritative entertainment news anywhere, so I'm coming to you first about something I heard.
There's a rumor that my all-time favorite sitcom, "Seinfeld," is coming back to TV next season. Any chance it's true?
Basically, yes. They're shooting it now, with Jerry Seinfeld, Jason Alexander and Julia Louis-Dreyfus reprising their original roles.
That's GREAT! I can't wait to see what they.... Hey, wait a minute. What about Kramer?
Well, that's the new twist. Kramer is out. Instead of New York City, the other three live in Israel, and their wacky neighbor across the hall is President Shimon Peres. I'm telling you, the stuff those guys get up to...
I have to say, Blog Guy, that sounds to me like a VERY different show.
from Oddly Enough Blog:
Yule laugh, yule cry…
Blog Guy, what do you think is the biggest holiday for your blog?
Christmas, for sure. We celebrate it for most of the year. Not only that, we're able to appreciate BOTH holidays.
You mean the religious Christmas and commercial Christmas?
No, I mean the magical goosebump childhood excitement Christmas, and the darkly absurd, "Look, somebody shot at Santa's helicopter!" Christmas.
Well, those two aspects do fit together better than most people think, don't they?
Indeed, it's almost like "The Gift of the Magi."
from Oddly Enough Blog:
Nine ways to lose weight and live forever
People say to me all the time, "Bob, your blog is SO stupid, how do you get people to read it?"
These folks don't understand how online journalism works. You can write anything you want, and if you put a good headline on it people will read it. Especially if you hint at immortality, easy weight loss or better sex.
If your headline offers a numbered list, that's even better. The best thing of all is a moderately clever play on words, which will attract people who think they are smart, and improve your demographics.
Toss in a photo of a nice dog or the Duchess of Cambridge, and it's a hit.
This is a very good deal, because it means I work about five minutes a day.
Looking back at the blog for this year, here are my favorite headlines. Smart people, come on down!
from Oddly Enough Blog:
He’s making a list, and Czeching it twice…
Blog Guy, I need to tap your background in psychology. I can't get my husband to enjoy the Christmas holidays. When he sees festive decorations he just breaks down and sobs.
Hmmmm. Did he by any chance grow up in Prague?
Why yes, he spent his childhood there!
I thought as much. Have a look at these photos from Prague, where revelers dressed as Saint Nicholas and a devil approach small children on the street and demand to know if they've been good or bad. It's enough to warp any child for life.
You mean a child has to figure out what a saint and a devil are doing together, and then decide whether to tell them the truth about his behavior?
That's about it.
from Oddly Enough Blog:
Will you be taking those grenades all the way to Belgium?
Sometimes I just don't understand stuff, so maybe you can help me with this exercise in logic.
The security folks at Newark's airport were X-raying checked baggage a few days ago when they found five hand grenades in a woman's luggage. Yes, five.
According to our story, the grenades had been disarmed, and the woman surrendered them "without incident."
She was then allowed to board the flight, bound for Belgium.
Excuse me? These are among the questions I have about this...
- Isn't carrying more than two hand grenades already by definition an incident?
- If the grenades didn't pose a threat, why did she have to surrender them?
- Would you want to sit next to somebody who tried packing five grenades in her suitcase?
- Why would a person go to Belgium?
from Oddly Enough Blog:
Sorry, you’re not my type…
Hey Blog Guy, it's me!
Who?
Me! The guy who talks to you in italics so you can carry on pretend conversations in your blog everyday.
You really EXIST? I always thought those conversations were just voices in my head.
I can't believe you don't even recognize me. I've been working for you for years, playing the dumb guy, acting the straight man in the comedy team while you got all the laughs, being annoyed by your misinformation and puns, and now that your blog is ending in a couple of weeks, you want nothing to do with me?
Jeez, what suddenly made you so bold?
