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Divided on Silda Wall Spitzer

March 12, 2008

Silda Wall SpitzerSilda Wall Spitzer stood beside her husband, New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer, as he resigned on Wednesday amid a scandal over a $1,000-an-hour prostitute. The mother of the governor’s three daughters also stood by her husband’s side at a news conference on Monday where he admitted he had violated his obligations to his family and his “sense of right and wrong.”

The public reaction to Mrs. Wall Spitzer’s stance to “stand by her man” has been mixed at best, New York Magazines notes . Political blog from N. Dakota, “Say Anything” , said it would have paid to see Silda Spitzer punch her husband on the podium.silda-spitzer2.jpg

Others were not as generous. “What’s more disgusting than a lyin’ no good, cheatin, hypocritical, political man? Their wives that stand by looking dumbfounded as their unfaithful husbands apologize to the public. Do these women have no pride?” wrote New York City Moms blog. Dr. Laura went so far as to blame Mrs. Wall Spitzer for the scandal.

She’s not the first wife to stand silently by her husband as he apologizes or confesses. Dina Matos McGreevey wrote a book called “Silent Partner ” about her life with her ex-husband, the former governor of New Jersey, who resigned after announcing he was a homosexual.

What are your views? Can we or should we read much into the private decisions of a wife of a public figure?


Ms. Silda Wall, hang in there, you will not only prevail but you will rise and you will be a rock and an amazing role model to your daughters. Do what you will with your marriage, that is no one’s business but yours. Good luck, kid, you’ll do fine. Just so sorry that you had to go through all this.


All through history, many powerful men who are married have engaged in extra marital relationships. Some cultures, including France accept men having mistresses and wives having lovers as no big deal. But in most cultures, it is not OK for wives to be unfaithful. Remember Henry the Eight had a habit of topping his wives for having extramarital relationships and Napoleon banished his wife Josephine, a woman he truly loved, for her infidelity.

Why do American woman like Silda Spitzer and Hillary Clinton, women who are affluent and powerful in their own right, stand at a podium beamed to the world and allow their narcissist husbands to hide behind their skirts and whimper Oh forgive me, I never thought I’d be caught.

If Mrs. Clinton and Mrs. Spitzer had been caught having toy boys, can you imagine Bill or Elliott standing besides their wives before the world, looking like victims and not saying a word? Why do these women even think these marriages are worth saving? These relationships have not been marriages for a very long time, if ever. How often are these men home for dinner? Attend a school conference? What kind of diseases are they bringing home to their wives? What kind of an example is it for their daughters? How can these wives pretend these families are healthy and normal? These guys are not worth standing beside or keeping around. Throw the bums out.

P.S. It’s strange, but I haven’t heard a word about the John Profumo scandal that brought down the British Government in the 1960s. Very similar scenario.

Posted by Vonnie Fitz | Report as abusive

Has anyone considered that Silda wants to put a face to her own strength? As if to say, “I’m not hiding. I’m not shattered. I’m not devastated. I am the mother of this man’s children. And for THEM, I stand here. And for ME. So, look at my face. Question my decisions. But don’t wonder if I’m in the fetal position somewhere. I am standing. I am breathing. I am HERE for my children. I’ll deal with him…..later.”


one word to describe him Stupid. This is more than just about sex this is about corruption such as money laundering and criminal activity. This was not an affair but a disgrace to his office and everything he said.

Just plain stupid, what a waste

Posted by mox | Report as abusive

No one ever deserves to be cheated on whether they’re a bum on the street or the governor of New York’s wife. He’s a dick and that’s the only way to look at it. TV newscasts bring up these stories on how it might be natural for men or some other b*llsh*t like that. Because of this whole fiasco, Mr. Eliot Spitzer just got his own Dickipedia article. It’s funny as hell and he obviously deserves it. =Eliot_Spitzer

Posted by TseeBaeng | Report as abusive

There’s a really good new book on this topic called Mending a Shattered Heart: A Guide for Partners of Sex Addicts. It’s available on Amazon.

Posted by Laurie | Report as abusive

I for one can not get the image of a devistated and shell- shocked looking Silda Spitzer on TV and in many newspapers as her husband, Elliot Spitzer announced his resignation. I am especially sad that all women don’t rally to support Silda and her choices at this horrible time in her life. If you read about her life before this incident instead of jumping to judge her, you would know that she was a very private woman who entered into politics with great reservation and who gave up a law career she loved to be there for her daughters and husband. How on Earth do we expect a woman to act who in a blink of an eye has had her entire life shattered and who has gone from being one of the most respected women in NY to now seeing her life become a humiliating story all over the media. There is something very wrong with a society who turns a prostitute into an instant millionaire and blames Silda for being the victim. I expect this reaction from some men but not from women. As women I thought we had fought the fight for all women to have the freedom of choice not just for our bodies but for the choices we make for ourselves and our children. Unless you have walked Silda’s very public walk, instead of judging her actions when she still probably doesn’t even know what hit her, perhaps you should think about offering her your support and kindness.

Posted by gayle | Report as abusive

My heart goes out to Silda. How dare these women berate Silda for being present during her husbands resignation. As a community of women it is up to us to support her through this betrayal. She is startled and harmed by her husbands illness. Marriage is a complicated relationship and we should never stand judgement on another persons response to infidelity. I have heard so many women talk about what they would do in a similiar situation but, the reality is one can never anticipate how they would react when faced with such a public disgrace. She has herself to care for and her children. I am sure her husband is not on her list right now. She is probably just mustering enough strength to get out of bed and dressed to face the criminal behavior of the media, the jokes,and the public celebrity of this young lost prostitute.

Posted by stephanie | Report as abusive

So, who are clients 1 through 8? And who gets the #10 spot?

Posted by Tim | Report as abusive

I’m a 51 year old guy. She is very attractive, smart and a good mom and wife. Ditch him and move on Silda there are tons of great guys out there!

Good Luck and may God be with you and your daughters!

Posted by Mike | Report as abusive

As I am not american but french, I do not want to blame americans, but I am always extremely surprised by their taste for sexual scandals and the lack of separation between sex and politics.
My intention is not to blame or excuse Mr. Spitzer, but his “transgressions” have nothing to do with his political ability, except if he used public money.
Please understand me well : I would be very harsh and uncompromising if there had been any trace of sexual perversion as sadism or paedophilia. But, in this case, I only find a taste of scandals among some journalists who do not make the distinction between information and garbage.
There is some hypocrisy and perversion to always search the flaw and spread scandals.
Nevertheless, Mrs. Spitzer is a perfect example of bravery and dignity and her response to these events magnify her.

Posted by Francois | Report as abusive

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