Silda Wall Spitzer stood beside her husband, New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer, as he resigned on Wednesday amid a scandal over a $1,000-an-hour prostitute. The mother of the governor’s three daughters also stood by her husband’s side at a news conference on Monday where he admitted he had violated his obligations to his family and his “sense of right and wrong.”
The public reaction to Mrs. Wall Spitzer’s stance to “stand by her man” has been mixed at best, New York Magazines notes . Political blog from N. Dakota, “Say Anything” , said it would have paid to see Silda Spitzer punch her husband on the podium.
Others were not as generous. “What’s more disgusting than a lyin’ no good, cheatin, hypocritical, political man? Their wives that stand by looking dumbfounded as their unfaithful husbands apologize to the public. Do these women have no pride?” wrote New York City Moms blog. Dr. Laura went so far as to blame Mrs. Wall Spitzer for the scandal.
She’s not the first wife to stand silently by her husband as he apologizes or confesses. Dina Matos McGreevey wrote a book called “Silent Partner ” about her life with her ex-husband, the former governor of New Jersey, who resigned after announcing he was a homosexual.
What are your views? Can we or should we read much into the private decisions of a wife of a public figure?
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I don’t understand. She has brains, beauty and class. Why cheat when she had everything most men would dream of.
- Posted by SteveFrom first hand experience, Mrs. Spitzer made a TERRIBLE mistake.
I was 15 years old when we found out my father was having an affair with my best friends mother. EVERYONE knew, except my mother and us children.
My mother tried to “stand by her man”, tried to “work it out”. I didn’t feel sorry for her, sadly…I felt hatred and CONTEMPT for her.
I had been raised to be an independent girl, taught that girls can do ANYTHING in this world. Then I got the reality check of watching my mother grovel to my father, stand up for him, try to “work it out”.
Mrs. Spitzer made a terrible mistake. I can tell you that I still see my mother as extremely weak during that time. How can a woman let a man humiliate her, destroy her, take advantage of her, use her…and still stand by him. She should have sent another message to her 3 teenage daughters. She SHOULD have NOT stood with him, and explained to her girls that NO MATTER WHAT, a womans self respect, dignity, and self worth is more important than ANY man…even her husband. She should have used this to teach her daughters how to be strong, independent women…not use this opportunity to show them that a man can walk all over you, destroy you, humiliate you..and you will still stand by him.
It’s sickening and totally disgusting. Her daughters are already scarred, thanks to their father. IF they are like I was, now they are scarred additionally by watching their mother be humiliated on national tv and not having more self respect than that.
- Posted by TracyMaybe someone should ask Eliot how he would feel if any of his daughters pursued a career in such an upstanding line of business and/or if someday one of his daughters husbands cheated on one of them. Doesn’t anyone ever think of that when put in that position? So does a person who is NOT capable of making proper moral decisions should have the authority to make decisions over life and death if he has no respect for even his family?
- Posted by Susan SharpAhhhh. “Dr.” Schlessinger thinks that women are partly to blame when the male cheats. Typical bullsh*t from someone who had to fill her TV audience with paid actors.
So it would be Silda’s fault if he got another woman pregnant or if Silda contracted a STD because he decided to not exercise self control? There are more consequences to infidelity besides broken hearts and bruised egos. The one being cheated on now has to worry about their present and future health.
Hopefully she will go on with her life alone with the kids while cleaning him out in the process.
- Posted by ireadithereOne thing people overlook in such cases is the probable state of the man’s sex life at the time. Although this is my pure speculation, it is quite likely that Mrs. Spitzer is into her menopause and had been neglecting her husband’s “needs”. Further, I speculate that Elliot probably has a much above-average sex drive as in the case with many successful men in their trade. It’s not coincidence that many historic figures had mistresses.
Anyway, It is quite possible that if his wife had taken Elliot’s daily needs more seriously in recent years, this tragedy could have been avoided.
It is sad. Sad for everyone.
- Posted by frfritz66Some of Colin Powell’s rules should apply here:
- Posted by Joseph Southern2. Get mad, then get over it.
10. Remain calm. Be kind.
12. Don’t take counsel of your fears or naysayers.
13. Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier.
I don’t know one person that hasn’t had serious trouble with a family member, and everyone handles these things differently. Who are any of us to judge how this woman chooses to deal with her family?
- Posted by JollyRogerIt’s beyond me why women join their husbands on the podium when they’ve committed such offenses. What’s the point? Isn’t it an exercise in useless humiliation? Are women like Silda Spitzer so weak and desperate that they’ll do anything to keep the creep? Hillary did the same thing, but, in her case, you can see the political reasoning.
- Posted by Roger HaydenThis woman’s world has been turned upside down in the last few days. Lets not judge her. Give her some time to absorb all this and get her life back on track.
- Posted by RTThank you DOE!
- Posted by KatPeople’s private lives and affairs should remain private. Unless the goverment funds have been misappropriated there is nothing to discuss. He was a good governor as a politician and he accomplished a lot. We did not elect him to monitor our sex lives. I wouldn’t want Dick Cheney commenting on how I should handle my 3 girlfriends. Great and powerful people in history frequently had affairs but it did not diminish their accomplishments. As far as what’s happening to the man’s family life has nothing to do with us or our opinions. Those who perceive themselves as fish-wives - standing on the corner immersed in gossip, should go back to Hollywood news. Are we so bored with our lives and unwilling to challenge ourselves mentally, that we would rather discuss someone elses life instead of experienceing our own?
Perhaps some of the blame is Mrs. Spitzer’s in that if she knew her husband was cheating on her, she should have/could have left him years ago. To blame her because she’s not ful-filling his needs is a load of crap.
What she’s doing by visibly standing by her man is trying to be as dignified as she possibly can be in this completely humiliating situation. She may have been enduring his indiscretions for years, but because of her sense of duty in the position she holds as the govenors’ wife, she chose to “stand by him”.
By one newspaper account, Eliot Spitzer spent $80,000 on prostitutes. He is apologizing and stepping down only because he got caught - same as Rev Ted Haggard, or whatever his name is. If Spitzer hadn’t gotten caught, he’d be doing it still. There was no moral reason plaguing him, or he would have stopped and fessed up to his wife in the privacy of their marriage.
Some women who experience this sort of humiliation in their lives can’t leave their husbands for financial reasons, job reasons, etc. Some have been at home taking care of their children and not in the workforce, so the thought of being alone is terrifying. In Silda Spitzer’s case, she is an accomplished lawyer in her own right, and has the financial means to stand on her own.
I hope that behind closed doors, she is nailing Spitzer’s ass to the wall. She has every right to scream and cry at this truly life-changing experience. It’s OK for her to let go of the lie that is her marriage. He is not worth any more humiliation. She can forgive him from a distance. I wish her the strength to leave him and take the girls and begin a new life as the strong woman she is portraying herself to be. My heart goes out to her.
- Posted by TrishRUN, SILDA RUN!!!!!!!!!
- Posted by LindaShe’ll dump the jerk and own that really nice building that will be “formerly” his.
- Posted by RamonWhy should SHE be criticized here or anywhere?
Why does the media encourage a vindictive feeding frenzy and demands for MORE SCHADENFREUD? Could it be because that is the dangerous and unhelpful role of the media - to over-dramatize, reduce, and commodify any human story into some stage managed falsehood that sells cars, soap, and an ever reinforced belief that everyone is truly awful and worthless (hence they should freak out and behave all crazy in public where the ‘journalists’ cameras can get a good shot of it and then exploit it to sell everybody some garbage they don’t need).
- Posted by WMKGet a rope! This guy took down so many of us.
- Posted by Gary W MillerIt just hit me! She is not mad at him, she is mad at us, the people who are messing with their lives.
- Posted by CISilda told him not to resign…..she is a reptilian also.
@ ohpuhleeese
She just turned 50.
- Posted by Allison FraserIt is not anybody’s fault. This is the way evolution evolved us. In other words were not responsible for our actions, it’s society, the environments fault.
- Posted by curtIt’s all in our genes.
Think of this: he wasn’t getting it at home so he got it on the outside. How many sexless marriages do we have in the country. Dumb move on his part, he should have taken a mistress.
- Posted by AllIsNotAsItSeems[Her looks are wearing off (certainly in comparison to the hottie Elliot rented!) and she’s too old to restart a career.]
- Posted by SR
Interesting comment. You must be quite young to think that a woman who holds a law degree from Harvard would have any trouble starting a new career at her age. She’s what, 46-48? After her children move out she can have a long and fabulous career.
As far as her looks go, I’d like to see how “hot” anyone could look after being blitzed by the news that her husband has been spending their family money and time for years on over-priced street tramps, carrying who knows what diseases.
Keep in mind that she is twice the age of this latest one. Somehow I doubt this girl will look anywhere near as classy and beautiful as Silda by the time she is her age. More likely she will age badly, like most women who live her lifestyle. Her bloom will not last long, sir.
- Posted by ohpuhleeese