Claws out

February 15, 2011

Russia and Britain are rowing over how to respond to Iran’s
nuclear programme, MPs are scurrying to push through legislation
for a referendum on changing the UK voting system and inflation
is twice the Bank of England’s target.

But one yarn towers over them all on this miserable, wet

David Cameron has got a new cat.

The Westminster bubble ran through the whole range of gags
when it was discovered that Cameron’s Downing Street residence
in central London was infested with rats.

Unsurprisingly, the recruitment of a stray cat called Larry
as the hard-nosed enforcer to deal with the problem has
triggered another wave of bad jokes and cast all other stories,
no matter how grave, into the shadows.

After all, the hard-working British taxpayer has a right to

Had Larry been vetted? Was there enough money in the “kitty”
for a rat-catching expert in this age of austerity? Would the
tabby be employed as a political special advisor or as a neutral
civil servant? Is Larry just another “fat” cat from the city?

“It had a very strong predatory drive and enjoyed playing
with toy mice,” Cameron’s spokesman revealed during a tense and,
sometimes, heated 20-minute stand-off with Westminster’s finest
political hacks.

Yeah, yeah… We’ve heard all that kind of stuff before.

Larry was clearly just another “you scratch my back, I’ll
scratch yours” appointment.

The stakes are high. If Larry fails, some experts warn the
whole of Westminster could be over-run by rats.

So good luck, Larry, but never fear… Even if you come up
short, there is always a warm, sleepy seat in the House of Lords
to look forward to.

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