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And you should see my toenails!

May 14, 2007

Dear Blog Guy,
Hey, I’m intrigued by a personal ad I saw, and I wonder what you think of it:

Single White Female – very white, actually – seeks kindred spirit for long walks and lots of laughter. I’m busy most of the time working on my nails, which are very special. One can cut glass, another can pick locks, one can disembowel a rodent in…well, let’s not go there right away. The main thing is, if we go out to dinner I can skewer my corn on the cob, butter it and get the kernels out of my teeth, all with my fingernails. I think guys like that in a chick.

Gee, she seems like quite a keeper. You should answer that ad before somebody else snatches her up. But I’m guessing she’s the only one who will come back from those long walks, and certainly the only one who will be laughing. Call it a hunch.

Oddly Enough Blogfashion300.jpg

A model shows a designer’s creation during a body-and-nail art show in Russia’s Siberian city of Krasnoyarsk May 12, 2007. REUTERS/Ilya Naymushin

Comments

…Maria’s boss chose to see past her strange makeup and office attire, but eventually fired her due to her incredibly slow typing speed…

Posted by K | Report as abusive
 

What do you get when you cross a geisha and Freddy Krueger?

Rimshot please.

Posted by K | Report as abusive
 

She looks okay now but get her in a high wind and her head spins around like Linda Blair’s.

Posted by Shawn Hendricks | Report as abusive
 

I don’t know what you get, K, but I usually opt for something with sticky rice wrapped in nori to dip in wasabi and soy. Don’t forget to tip. Num.

Posted by Shawn Hendricks | Report as abusive
 

Why, oh why, did I ever get the crazy notion to say, “Go, go, Gadget: Fembot?”

Posted by Shawn Hendricks | Report as abusive
 

I know how you feel, babe. Try to use one hand to grab the tape on the other and it sticks to the hand you were trying to get it off with. I’ve learned to type anyhow, but it ain’t always pretty.

Posted by Shawn Hendricks | Report as abusive
 

I always wondered how they would look if dredlocks were ironed flat.

Posted by Shawn Hendricks | Report as abusive
 

I scream, you scream, we all scream at the Ice Queen.

Posted by Shawn Hendricks | Report as abusive
 

“Mom, remember that audition I did for the new NBC Peacock?

I GOT THE JOB!“

 

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