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September 14th, 2007

Flying cars not a total success…

Posted by: Robert Basler

ranch-180.jpgMany of you have heard of the German highway where there is practically no speed limit and you can drive as fast as you want, called the autobahn - not to be mistaken for John James Audubon, that bird artist whose name sounds kind of similar.

Anyway, what you may not know, is that once a year they remove a 20-foot section of the autobahn with no warning, just to see how many cars can make it over the gap. As you can see from the photo below, not everyone succeeds. This annual experiment may have inspired the famous sculpture “Cadillac Ranch,” in Texas (see thumbnail photo by Rik Gruwez).

Wait, maybe this isn’t what is happening here at all. Alternative suggestions are welcome, via Post a Comment.

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cars-360.jpgA promotional installation of Mini cars that were stuck into a pile of sand is seen outside the fairgrounds of the Frankfurt International Auto Show IAA in Frankfurt September 12, 2007. REUTERS/Wolfgang Rattay

September 14th, 2007

And Finally: Chad has a wedding knight video

Posted by: Robert Basler

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This week, Chad Ruble - our presenter of odd video clips - does his entire show from the quaint cobblestone streets of elegant Times Square.

The whole gang is outside - the house band, his easily-entertained sidekick, his lovely assistant - because this is the week the exterminators pump Chad’s studio full of their lethal fog. On Monday, Chad will send his producer back inside to see if it’s safe.

Anyway, Chad still has a collection of great clips today, so gather the family around and enjoy. Here’s Chad.

September 13th, 2007

Let me guess: he’s sitting behind ME!

Posted by: Robert Basler

The caption tells us this guy - and just to be clear, he’s identified as the one on the right, in case it’s confusing which one we’re talking about - is “celebrating” a Scotland victory at some soccer match or other. For his benefit, in case he’s not aware, here’s how some other cultures celebrate:

  • by actually wearing shirts
  • by singing “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” or the soccer equivalent
  • by heading home and having an alcoholic beverage, just this once
  • by not waving bare armpits downwind at fans who may wish to breathe again at some pointfan-300.jpg

A Scotland fan (R) celebrates victory against France after the final whistle is blown during their Euro 2008 Group B qualifying soccer match at the Parc des Princes stadium in Paris, September 12, 2007. REUTERS/David Moir

September 12th, 2007

Now, even better than casual Friday…

Posted by: Robert Basler

Welcome to the new Russian game show, Let’s Make a Baby!  Win a fabulous appliance, or maybe even a new home!  Small print: win or lose, you have to keep the baby…

It turns out, the governor of a Russian province has urged couples to skip work today and make love instead, to help boost a low birth-rate. And, if a woman gives birth in exactly nine months, she will qualify for a prize, maybe even a new home. I am not making this up.

It’s normally something for the home - a fridge or a television set, the Ulyanovsk regional press office said. I guess to show they’re keeping up with all those cutting edge, progressive, new millennium ideas, the press person added, It doesn’t matter if it’s a girl or a boy.  James Kilner reports:

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Women pose with their newborn babies in the central hospital of the city Ulyanovsk,  September 12, 2007.  REUTERS/Sergei Karpukhin

September 12th, 2007

Bewitch me! I’ll bewitch you in a minute!

Posted by: Robert Basler

Romance is the glamour which turns the dust of everyday life into a golden haze
- Amanda Cross

glamour-face-160.jpgI’ll never forget the first time I saw that model, as beguiling as Miss Grundy from Archie Comics, with the confident swagger of a deluxe Mrs. Potatohead. A sleeveless Ed Norton-style vest, a Hallmark birthday ribbon in her hair, and glasses big enough to read a book with, if she were into that kind of thing.

With her Laverne De Fazio skirt dropping below her knees, and her Batman gloves pulled to mid-forearm, there wasn’t a single tattoo showing - she was that classy!

She was like the best of 50 years of pop culture, and she was walking my way at New York Fashion Week. The character in Steel Magnolias said it best: “The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize...”

Well, heck, who wants to be that different from the animals, anyway?

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A model presents a creation from the Marc Jacobs Spring 2008 collection during New York Fashion Week September 10, 2007. REUTERS/Keith Bedford

September 11th, 2007

Ed, did you find my shoes? Ed? Ed?

Posted by: Robert Basler

cobra300.jpgWe have a video report that raises sort of a theological question. Who has done more good for mankind - the person who produced shoes festooned with precious gems to sell for $134,000 a pair, or the one who thought of guarding those shoes with a live cobra?

Yeah, it’s close, but I’m inclined to say the latter. The notion of a lethal deterrent has many handy home applications, especially in the area of dieting. I’ve now set scorpions loose in our potato chip drawer, put black widow spiders in our jar of Junior Mints, and let leeches run wild in the four places where we keep our jelly doughnuts. I also tried putting venomous snakes in with my Ben & Jerry’s, but they don’t seem too intimidating after a night in the freezer.

I’m off now to stuff wolverines into my nine-year-old Volvo wagon, to thwart thieves specializing in classic cars. Cindy Martin reports:

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September 11th, 2007

Layuft, layuft, layuft right layuft…

Posted by: Robert Basler

fashion-hammer-120.jpgDear Blog Guy,
I’m a 20-year-old woman who is very interested in joining the U.S. military, but the uniforms are just too hideous. Isn’t there anything they can do to make them more attractive?

Well, I was happy to see that at the current New York Fashion Week, some attention is being paid to prospective high-fashion uniforms, which I presume are aimed at the U.S. armed forces. See the picture below.

Now that’s chic! But with that low neckline, where would we put our medals?

Sorry. I just saw another item from the same collection - see the upper left photo. Would it be a deal-breaker if you had to join somebody else’s army, instead?

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A model presents a creation from the Sabyasachi Spring 2008 collection during New York Fashion Week September 7, 2007. REUTERS/Keith Bedford

September 10th, 2007

Be a smart stoolie, Julie!

Posted by: Robert Basler

We sent our camera crew out to the Acme School for Mob Informants, as you can see from these advanced students who are learning to swim with their arms and legs tied. If you’re a potential witness against the Mafia, and you can pay your full tuition in advance, maybe you should consider a semester at Acme, where you will learn such useful skills as:

  • opening a car trunk from the inside
  • why Facebook’s New Jersey Linen Service group isn’t a good social network for you
  • getting comfy with a horsehead in your bed
  • how to scan the diner for hitmen, instead of just eating onion rings

Of course, it’s possible that isn’t what’s happening here at all. You can find out for sure by checking out this video clip:

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September 10th, 2007

Wait boss, I’m not done contradicting you!

Posted by: Robert Basler

It turns out this woman was fired from a company in Xiamen, China, for talking back to her boss for a third time. Yes, it seems her employer actually has a three-strike policy on “contradicting” a superior. The first two times you do it, you get fined. The third time, they fire you. 

Folks, my very strong advice is, don’t waste those first two golden opportunities. Think of the many poor workers who don’t get two safe shots at dissing their bosses. Some helpful pointers:

  • Write down everything you want to say in your “contradiction” on recipe cards, and rehearse. If you run out of space, write on the back.
  • Take a bathroom break before you start, so your ”contradiction” can go for hours. 
  • Learn the guitar chords for ”Take this Job and Shove it,” and sing it during the “contradiction.” Make sure you translate it to Chinese first.
  • Lastly, make sure you know the company’s definition of “contradict,” and exploit it fully. In some progressive workplaces, seltzer bottles, cow pies and taser weapons may be used in “contradicting” the boss.  

Let the wild “contradictions” begin! Here’s the story:

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A worker checks an iron between assembly lines at a Xiamen factory in a 2001 file photo. REUTERS/Guang Niu

September 10th, 2007

A glazed look in her eyes…

Posted by: Robert Basler

I know it doesn’t seem too difficult to be a fashion show model. They glower and pout for no apparent reason. They walk to one end of a long ramp, turn around, and walk back. It’s hard to get lost.

But this unusual photo shows the dark side of the profession. this model, in a business that notices every ounce of weight she adds, is forced to look at fresh doughnuts while having her hair styled. Warm, yeasty, straight from the bakery. For all we know, it could even be worse. Maybe somebody is also serving a heap of melted cheese nachos, fried chicken, and hot apple crisp with French vanilla ice cream.

I don’t know about you, but suddenly it’s a whole lot easier to understand where those glowers and pouts are coming from. Cripes, it’s a wonder there isn’t gunfire.

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A model has her hair styled during New York Fashion Week September 7, 2007. REUTERS/Lucas Jackson