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Robert's Feed
Nov 22, 2011
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The King’s playin’ with his crotch again

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Blog Guy, you seem to read a lot of history. I guess that’s to take your mind off the goofy stuff you see every day?

Are you kidding? History books are where I GET my goofiest stuff.  I find myself laughing out loud as I picture things I read. In his biography of William Shakespeare, author Bill Bryson tells us that King James I “was graceless in motion, with a strange lurching gait, and had a disconcerting habit, indulged more or less constantly, of playing with his codpiece.”

Nov 21, 2011
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We need rhymers, not climbers!

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Blog Guy, I know you’ve been following Republican presidential candidate Herman Cain and his campaign, complete with that Libya video meltdown and the “Cain train,” but what do you think about his latest comment?

You mean where he said, “We need a leader, not a reader.”

Yep.

Well, it is jolting to hear a candidate say something like that, but I know he loves those rhyming phrases. It’s sort of his trademark. Here are some examples from my own wide-ranging Cain interview, conducted in my imagination…

Nov 21, 2011
Nov 21, 2011
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Which job would you choose?

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Blog Guy, I need some of your famous career advice. I have a dead-end job selling lunch meat door-to-door, and I’m looking for something different.

Hmmmm. Are you willing to relocate overseas? Do you enjoy working outdoors and getting a little exercise on the job?

Nov 20, 2011
Nov 20, 2011
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Hire me! I can be a better vetter!

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Hey Blog Guy, I don’t get out very much. Can you explain what these guys in this picture are doing?

Yes, the caption says they’re vetting dancers before the opening of an Erotica show.

Nov 19, 2011
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Get whiter teeth, with twice the pain

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Blog Guy, I read about a place in France that has made great strides in whitening teeth. Can you tell me more?

You’re in luck. I don’t actually read French, but then again I can make up stuff from looking at photos no matter where they were taken.

Nov 18, 2011
Nov 18, 2011
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After Total Recall, time for a fling?

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Blog Guy, recently you did an item about a lot of consumer products recalled in a short period.  Were you trying to scare us?

No! Whatever made you think that?

The headline on it was, Attention! Everything has been recalled!

Oh, right. You mean the post about recent recalls of cantaloupe, lettuce, candy, ice cream, pine nuts, prawns, soy burgers, kale chips, spinach, eggs, tuna, cars, motorcycles, gas range tops, recliner chairs…

Nov 18, 2011