So, Blog Guy! I guess for top gadget writers like yourself, this is a HUGE day!

Of course. Give me a hint. The new Williams-Sonoma catalog?

No! The new Apple iPhone 4S. Surely you have one and you’ve already played with it?

Oh, um, sure! I went over at 7 a.m. today but the line was very long, so I bought one from a guy outside. My staff and I are testing it now.

Blog Guy, it’s been TWO WEEKS since you’ve shown us fresh pictures of Paris Hilton! Are there no cameras left for her to stand in front of? Is something wrong? Should we prepare for bad news?

Calm down, she’s still posing. Here she is at the opening of a shopping center this week, in Poland.

Blog Guy, I need some of your great advice on home entertaining.

Is it something that can be solved by a fancy Williams-Sonoma gadget?

Not this time. I’ve invited some of those anti-Gaddafi soldiers over for a home- cooked dinner, and I’m wondering if there’s anything special I should know. We’ll start with pre-dinner drinks in the living room.

That sounds lovely. Make sure they have a clear line of fire.

Excuse me? Clear line of fire?

You know, they’ll want to use your sofa’s arm rest for their assault weapons, so you should only put one fighter on each piece of furniture.

Then Saudi Arabian Foreign Policy Advisor Adel-Al-Jubeir gestures during a press conference in response to U.S. engineer Paul Marshal Johnson’s beheading at the Saudi Arabian Embassy in Washington, in this June 18, 2004 file photo.

Wow!  I must’ve missed the video footage of the beheading at the Embassy.

Man, that’s poorly worded!

M. T.

Sigh. Yes, that’s a sentence sorely in need of some editing: GBU Editor

Join the Good, Bad, Ugly Facebook Blog Network

Blog Guy, who’s your favorite superhero? Mine is Superman. I love the whole story of being sent here in a rocket from the planet Krypton by his scientist father, Jor-El, and how he….

Right! I love that, too. And the rocket landing in the Philippines, and…

Er, no, he was raised by the kindly Kents, and…

And then he disguised himself by…

By wearing a business suit and a snap-brim hat and glasses, and…

No, by having plastic surgery on his nose, cheeks, lips, chin and thighs, and changed his skin color, and…

Factbox – Ships held by Somali pirates

Here are details of ships still held by Somali pirates.

* PANAMA: Seized on December 10. Liberian-flagged container ship en route from Tanzania to Beira. Crew of 23 from Myanmar.

Just read your update with interest but note the MV Panama was released last month and is not currently held.

Blog Guy, I’ve been seeing photos of well-armed rebels in Yemen in recent days, and I notice a lot of swollen cheeks. Are those plucky lads in need of major dental care?

No, don’t worry about that. These guys are just getting stoned on a leaf called qat.