Blog Guy, I read your review of the new iPhone 4S the day it was released, and found it ridiculous. You bill yourself as one of the top technology bloggers in your zip code, and yet you didn’t even mention Siri, the phone’s incredible voice recognition feature, which answers questions and obeys commands.
I don’t think you even HAVE a 4S yet!
That’s where you’re wrong. I was just carrying on a conversation with Siri, and I’ll paste it into my blog to prove it.
Blog Guy, not to bring up a depressing topic, but have you made plans for what will be done with your body when you die?
I’m arranging that now, thanks to several readers who sent me info about a company called Holy Smoke. They put your cremated ashes into shotgun shells or rifle cartridges, so your friends can shoot you off. Even in death, you can be helping to kill some poor creature.
Okay, listen up, troops! I’ve got your duty assignments for the anti-Gaddafi army!
Smith, you’re riding in a tank. Jones, you’re a bombardier. Williams, you fire rocket-propelled grenades and blow up big stuff all day long. Johnson, you’re on Bike Patrol. Williams, you’re…
Blog Guy, I’ve been trying to get a job in the exciting outdoor food service industry, and there aren’t any. Do you know why?
Yes! That’s what happened to me! I tried getting work peeling potatoes in Ireland, and they gave the position to a presidential candidate, instead!
So, Blog Guy! I guess for top gadget writers like yourself, this is a HUGE day!
Of course. Give me a hint. The new Williams-Sonoma catalog?
Oh, um, sure! I went over at 7 a.m. today but the line was very long, so I bought one from a guy outside. My staff and I are testing it now.
Blog Guy, it’s been TWO WEEKS since you’ve shown us fresh pictures of Paris Hilton! Are there no cameras left for her to stand in front of? Is something wrong? Should we prepare for bad news?