Hey Blog Guy, I don’t get out very much. Can you explain what these guys in this picture are doing?

Yes, the caption says they’re vetting dancers before the opening of an Erotica show.

Blog Guy, I read about a place in France that has made great strides in whitening teeth. Can you tell me more?

You’re in luck. I don’t actually read French, but then again I can make up stuff from looking at photos no matter where they were taken.

Blog Guy, recently you did an item about a lot of consumer products recalled in a short period.  Were you trying to scare us?

No! Whatever made you think that?

The headline on it was, Attention! Everything has been recalled!

Oh, right. You mean the post about recent recalls of cantaloupe, lettuce, candy, ice cream, pine nuts, prawns, soy burgers, kale chips, spinach, eggs, tuna, cars, motorcycles, gas range tops, recliner chairs…

Blog Guy, I mainly come here for your coverage of really bad fashion. You do show us ALL the worst creations, right?

Of course I do. Except the stuff I need to protect my readers from, of course. But everything else gets…

Blog Guy, wake up! Looks like you fell asleep at your computer.

Oh, yeah, thanks. I was going through the so-called “family photos” of finance ministers from the APEC Summit in Hawaii, and I keep falling asleep.

Can’t you get somebody else to do that?

Who? Who on earth is EVER going to look at these pictures, and yet they are a staple of every single summit. There are so many people, we don’t even bother to name them.

Boss, you got a minute for a private chat?

Sure Lamar, what’s up?

I’m kinda depressed. “People Magazine” just announced its “Sexiest Man Alive” choice for this year, and once again, it wasn’t me.

I can see where that would be a blow to somebody with your unusual looks, Lamar. Who got it this time?