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Robert's Feed
Dec 2, 2011
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When party smalltalk gets out of control

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Blog Guy, I have a very specific fashion need and I hope you can help with it.

I go to a lot of very fancy affairs, but I have a tendency to say nasty things, and then other guests throw punches at me. What can I wear to protect myself at the holiday parties coming up?

Excuse me. Back up just a minute. You become SO offensive that upscale guests at festive Christmas parties want to punch you out? Is that what you’re saying?

Dec 1, 2011
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A chance to arm-wrestle WHO?

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Blog Guy, have you planned any special holiday events for your Goofy Face Museum and Doughnut Shop in Washington, DC?

You bet we have. We have new photo exhibits called “Goofy CEOs” and “Our Goofy Folks in Uniform.”

Nov 30, 2011
Nov 30, 2011
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Hang on, this isn’t Yangon?

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Blog Guy, I read that Secretary of State Hillary Clinton is visiting Myanmar. That’s amazing! Have you been there?

Not to Myanmar, but I was there when they called it Burma.

Oh. Were you in Yangon?

Yes, but they called it Rangoon then.

But it’s the same city, right, the capital?

Rangoon was the capital when I was there, but now the capital is Naypyitaw.

I’m totally confused. Rangoon became Yangon which became Naypyitaw?

No, Yangon is still Yangon, it’s just not the capital any longer.

This is too bizarre. Can you at least confirm that Clinton made it out of the airport safely?

Nov 30, 2011
via Good, Bad, and Ugly

Bad pronunciation?

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Your correspondent reporting on the Mapuche indigenous people’s protest in Chile, pronounced their name incorrectly at least 2 times during the video.

She said Machupe instead of Mapuche, a big difference.

This was disrespectful to the Mapuche people. Please have your reporters familiarize themselves with the subjects of their stories.

Nov 30, 2011
Nov 30, 2011
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Welcome to Rock Bottom…

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Honestly, I don’t even know why we cover stories like this.

It’s another one of those lists ranking living standards in various cities around the world. Vienna is in the number one position, while Baghdad ranks dead last.

No kidding.

“Honey, the company wants to transfer me, does it matter to you and the kids whether we go to Austria or Iraq? I told them I had no preference…”

Nov 29, 2011
via Good, Bad, and Ugly

Spelling of city’s name…

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Ukraine’s Tymoshenko charged with tax evasion KIEV (Reuters) – Former Ukrainian prime minister Yulia Tymoshenko, already sentenced to seven years in prison for abuse of office, has been charged with tax evasion, theft and concealing foreign currency revenues, the State Tax Administration said on Friday.

Hi. I just wanted to let you know that the capital of Ukraine is misspelled in your article.

You refer to Ukraine’s capital city as ‘Kiev.’ I would like to point out that this is an obsolete version of the name, which was abandoned by Ukraine after its declaration of independence in 1991, and replaced by the name ‘Kyiv.’

Nov 29, 2011
Nov 29, 2011
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Out of the frying pan and into the fryer…

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Blog Guy, I can’t wait any longer! Has the Williams-Sonoma December catalog arrived yet? I need to get ready for the big holidays!

Yes, and naturally I was drawn to page 120, the Breville Deep Fryer, $149.95. That’s what I want for holiday entertaining, right? I mean, what says, I care about my family’s health better than immersing their food in oil? Especially with those recent studies showing we all need to raise our cholesterol levels.