Blogger: Oddly Enough and The Good, the Bad and the Ugly, Washington, DC
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Dec 6, 2011
Dec 6, 2011
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Sorry, you’re not my type…

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Hey Blog Guy, it’s me!

Who?

Me! The guy who talks to you in italics so you can carry on pretend conversations in your blog everyday.

You really EXIST? I always thought those conversations were just voices in my head.

Dec 6, 2011
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Have you never SEEN decorations, Mr. President?

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Honey, was that the doorbell? Could you see who it is, please?

Sweetie, it’s the president!

President Obama?

Yeah. He’s here for some kind of a surprise inspection of our Christmas decorations.

Oh crap, it’s decoration inspection time already? Quick, put a plate of shiny Christmas balls on the table, and I’ll get our holiday mugs. Maybe that”ll satisfy him.

Dec 5, 2011
Dec 5, 2011
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Nine things I’ll miss most about this blog

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Let’s get the sad news out of the way first.

After an exhilarating five-year run, this blog is ending its run here. Websites change, and take new directions.

The slightly better news is that we have a couple of weeks until my final post, so let’s have fun.

Dec 2, 2011
Dec 2, 2011
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When party smalltalk gets out of control

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Blog Guy, I have a very specific fashion need and I hope you can help with it.

I go to a lot of very fancy affairs, but I have a tendency to say nasty things, and then other guests throw punches at me. What can I wear to protect myself at the holiday parties coming up?

Excuse me. Back up just a minute. You become SO offensive that upscale guests at festive Christmas parties want to punch you out? Is that what you’re saying?

Dec 1, 2011
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A chance to arm-wrestle WHO?

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Blog Guy, have you planned any special holiday events for your Goofy Face Museum and Doughnut Shop in Washington, DC?

You bet we have. We have new photo exhibits called “Goofy CEOs” and “Our Goofy Folks in Uniform.”

Nov 30, 2011
Nov 30, 2011
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Hang on, this isn’t Yangon?

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Blog Guy, I read that Secretary of State Hillary Clinton is visiting Myanmar. That’s amazing! Have you been there?

Not to Myanmar, but I was there when they called it Burma.

Oh. Were you in Yangon?

Yes, but they called it Rangoon then.

But it’s the same city, right, the capital?

Rangoon was the capital when I was there, but now the capital is Naypyitaw.

I’m totally confused. Rangoon became Yangon which became Naypyitaw?

No, Yangon is still Yangon, it’s just not the capital any longer.

This is too bizarre. Can you at least confirm that Clinton made it out of the airport safely?