Blog Guy, recently you did an item about a lot of consumer products recalled in a short period. Were you trying to scare us?
The headline on it was, Attention! Everything has been recalled!
Oh, right. You mean the post about recent recalls of cantaloupe, lettuce, candy, ice cream, pine nuts, prawns, soy burgers, kale chips, spinach, eggs, tuna, cars, motorcycles, gas range tops, recliner chairs…
Blog Guy, wake up! Looks like you fell asleep at your computer.
Can’t you get somebody else to do that?
Who? Who on earth is EVER going to look at these pictures, and yet they are a staple of every single summit. There are so many people, we don’t even bother to name them.
Boss, you got a minute for a private chat?
I’m kinda depressed. “People Magazine” just announced its “Sexiest Man Alive” choice for this year, and once again, it wasn’t me.
I can see where that would be a blow to somebody with your unusual looks, Lamar. Who got it this time?
Judge upholds eviction of Wall St. protesters
Protesters who had been kicked out in a surprise predawn raid were allowed back 16 hours later but were banned from bringing the tents and sleeping bags that had turned a square-block park near Wall Street into an urban campground the past two months.
Hundreds of police stormed the camp around 1 a.m. and dismantled tents, tarpaulins, outdoor furniture, mattresses and signs, arresting 147 people, including about a dozen who had chained themselves to each other and to trees.
Blog Guy, I’m hoping you can help answer a question for me. Where do babies come from?
Er, uh, you should probably ask your parents about that.
Oh. Well, when a a man and a woman love each other very much, they pick up the phone and order a delivery from the Sperm Bike, which pedals over with a gallon of baby-starter.
Blog Guy, you haven’t updated us on Ronald Basler recently. You remember, you keep getting his spam at your e-mail address?
Things seemed to be looking better for him the last time, what with getting a Russian bride and taking a Napa getaway and everything.