Let’s face it, if moves by Beijing’s Government and Tourism Bureaus to take the Chinglish off menus and road signs as we reported in an earlier story really worked, dining out in Beijing wouldn’t be half as fun.

Colleagues eating at a Beijing restaurant in the final countdown to the Aug. 8 start of the Games came up with the following interesting dishes which diners can order at their peril:         

- The celery fires an employee                                                 

-  The clever and dextrous woman hand rips the cabbage

-  The peach kernel sauce explodes the diced chicken. 

Tough choice. Think I might opt for the bad fragrant fish cooked until the bones are soft.

(Photo taken by Ahmed Assar, Reuters Television)

Whatever happened to the exploding shrimp? Do you know the way to Racist Park?

The Beijing authorities have been working long and hard in the run-up to the Olympics to stamp out Chinglish — but examples still abound all round town of this unique mix of Mandarin and English.

It’s fun checking out the slogans on T-shirts to find the finest example of strangulated language.

Some Chinglish has even won the official stamp of approval.

“Brokeback” — popularised from the movie “Brokeback Mountain” about two gay cowboys –  has passed the test with formal acceptance by Chinese scholars as Mandarin shorthand for gay.

But it would be hard to top the all-time favourite quintet of Chinglish entries picked by the U.S.-based Global Language Monitor:

– If you are stolen, call the police

– Airline Pulp (food served aboard airlines)

– The slippery are very crafty (slippery when wet)

– Do not climb the rocketry (rock wall)

– Deformed man toilet (handicapped restroom)

We’ll be keeping our eyes and ears open for more…

PHOTO: 21-year-old Beijing T-shirt seller Xinxin stands in her stall in the popular Huawei Shopping Centre in Beijing June 13, 2008. REUTERS/Gillian Murdoch