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Ellen wears the pants in this marriage

August 20, 2008

ellen.jpgTalk show host Ellen DeGeneres wore a white vest and pants while actress Portia de Rossi was decked out in a lacy dress, as the lesbian couple wed at their Los Angeles home this past weekend in a ceremony caught on camera by People magazine.
While the Saturday ceremony was a closely guarded affair, People posted details and images on its Web site.
Candles and flowers surrounded DeGeneres and de Rossi as they wed. They sat on floor pillows with Wayne Dyer, the author of books on spiritualism and self-help, who officiated the ceremony.
“She’s officially off the market,” DeGeneres told People of her new spouse. “No one else gets her. And now she’ll cook and clean for me.”
Just how much de Rossi will be expected to cook remains in doubt, given that People reports the couple has a personal chef named David Silberkleit, who prepared an all-vegan meal for the wedding.
DeGeneres hosts daytime talk show, “The Ellen DeGeneres Show,” and De Rossi has starred in the television shows “Arrested Development” and “Ally McBeal.” The couple started dating in 2004. 
The wedding of DeGeneres, 50, and de Rossi, 35, was one of the most highly anticipated same-sex weddings since the California Supreme Court in May overturned a state ban on those unions.
A ballot measure before the state’s voters in November threatens to override the court’s decision. Gay and lesbian groups, dismayed at the prospect of losing a hard-won right, have expressed hope that happy same-sex couples getting married will help convince voters to support the unions.

(Reporting by Alex Dobuzinskis) 


Congratulations to the happy couple. It will be interesting to see if a lesbian celebrity marriage has more longevity than a heterosexual celebrity marriage. Something tells me that a marriage is a marriage regardless of the sexes of the betrothed.

Posted by Marla | Report as abusive

I don’t know if I’m totally comfy with the idea of two girls or two guys being married. It’s still kind of weird in a way. I guess I’ve been okay with civil unions. Maybe over time I, and everyone else, will accept gay and lesbian marriages and be happy for them.


Well I don’t think I’m now comfortable with heterosexual couples being married, It’s still kind of weird in a way, ah Delia?

It’s just not right, rather un-godly and most definately an ugly prospect.

Posted by DAVID | Report as abusive

people are people, everyone has different beliefs and no one, I mean no one is more right than the other. Two happy people were married because they love each other and want to spend the rest of their lives together. As soon as our country realizes that, the better. Oh, which god were you referring to in the phrase “ungodly”, is it not more “godly” to wish people happiness instead of judging them? Isn’t there only one (aka “God”)that is suppose to do the judging at the end of time?

Posted by Feather | Report as abusive



folks,FEAR GOD,Do not ruin your life.Oneday You have to give account all your deeds.God loves you.Trust on HIM.

Posted by joytha | Report as abusive

Am I the only one disturbed by the headline on this story? It seems to imply that in same-sex relationships that one partner must assume the masculine role and the other the feminine. It’s this kind of mistaken thinking that makes people uncomfortable with same-sex marriages.

Posted by Rick | Report as abusive

Why should’t gay couples be able to get the same right as a STRIGHT couple. We can say I do and not really mean it just like the hertosexual. What is the divorce right in the hertosexual would these days…40-50%says USA Today..

Posted by justoutmom | Report as abusive

What gives you the right to decide if others can be happy or not? Talk about being ungodly. If they are happy let them be, just cause it is not for you does not mean that it is not for them. And further more my guess would be that you are all jelous because Portia De Rossi is beautiful. Good luck to them and I hope they live happily ever after. PS I am a married (to a man) mother of 2 so I am not homosexual.

Posted by sadie | Report as abusive

Congratulations to the wonderful couple! How lucky that they found such love in each other. How great for all of us that they are willing to be so open and public with their relationship. Best wishes to them and to all the newly-married same-gender couples. They deserve the happiness and joy, just as every couple does. Thanks, Ellen for your courage.

Posted by Barb | Report as abusive

How small-minded of people in this day and age to think
anyone should take away the rights of gay and lesbian couples to marry. Why should the fact that any two people in love want to marry make you uncomfortable. As for David’s comments – there is nothing ungodly or ugly about people wanting to love and take care of each other, your comments are what sound hateful.


I feel your sarcasm David…I just don’t think it’s the best way to persuade someone who is clearly open to the idea of acceptance – even if she hasn’t quite gotten there yet. Good for you Delia for being willing to go as far as you have. Hopefully, with time, you’ll see that we’re all just people who need food, shelter, companionship and all the other necessities of life. Some of us just need these things in different forms than others. Oh…and before I forget the topic of the story…congratulations to Ellen and Portia. May your lives together bring you as much happiness as you’ve shared with all of us – and more!

Posted by MeTP | Report as abusive

i think this is awesome, good for them, they deserve happiness.

Posted by Mistical | Report as abusive

A heterosexual marriage at its basic element produces life, same sex marriages cannot. The opposite of life is death and therefore these types of relationships by their inability to produce life, bring death. This is also why society should protect the institution of marriage between a man and a women and relegate its benefits to only these types of unions. Life produces benefits to society that non-life producing unions cannot. Therefore they should be protected and given certain rights that same sex unions should not. On an individual basis, they can be productive and a vital part of our society, but to class them within the same class as life giving marriages is insanity.

Posted by John | Report as abusive

about he comment by DAVID I think that you are close minded and need to open up and move on.

Posted by Nikki | Report as abusive

Typical, expected response from someone like David.

Does anyone else agree that the people who demand understanding and compassion and tolerance are they themselves the most intolerant and unyielding and compasionless of them all?

Delia is entitled to his/her feelings. I’ve found the my gay friends not only think they are right, they KNOW they are right. And if you don’t agree with them (this is America right?) you are against them.

I don’t care one way or another whether anyone gets married (aren’t there more important issues like AIDS, war in Iraq and health insurance?) When the Gay community respects my beliefs and feeling (even if you don’t agree with them!), I will respect theirs. It’s that simple.

Posted by Marty | Report as abusive


There’s so many things that are missing in people’s interpretations of the Bible. Look at it this way if you are a Christian: what was his point in our life? Who’s word are you taking –Moses’ or another prophet or Jesus’ actions and/or teaching? Who stated the whole thing about homosexual being doomed? Not Jesus.

Just remember the point he was trying to make with the Samaritans and don’t take another prophet’s word OVER Jesus himself and you might understand the point that I am making here.

As Jesus said, we have no right to pass judgment on others –we only have the right and requirement to love others.


How does a lesbian couple decide who wears the pants and who wears the dress? Are they both each other’s “Wife”?

Posted by Susan Weston | Report as abusive


Posted by LAURIE | Report as abusive

I say You stay in your bedroom and I’ll stay in mine.What two consenting adults do is none of anybodies business.The ones that cry the loudest about whats right and wrong,generally have their own skeletons.Do not judge another,unless thee be judge or something close to that.I say be happy,love long.My husband and I have been blessed to be together over 27 years.I wish the same for all couples no matter what their sexes.


God bless this union.
Life is precious…and love, companionship, friendship, passion, etc., are gifts to be appreciated and enjoyed. I don’t think marriage needs to be just between a man and a woman. These are devoted, caring partners. Best wishes from the Midwest.

Posted by Margo Rose | Report as abusive

Congrats to the happy couple! Delia,I am sure you meant no harm but civil unions are a lesser status that few, if any couples would exchange for marriage.When you say that you’re married,everyone gets it.Same gender couples deserve the same legal rights and protections as a hetero couple.Individual religions will do as they wish;my husband and I were married by a Church of Christ minister in Toronto 5 yrs. ago-we’ve been together for 15+ yrs.We now live in CA and it’s a relief that our marriage is finally recognized by the state-now we just need to defeat Prop 8 and elect a president who will get rid of DOMA and give us our federal rights….

Posted by Mike | Report as abusive

What happens if the voters overturn same-sex marriage in California? Will Ellen and Portia’s marriage be “grandfathered” or will it be null and void? I had to move to Canada to legally marry the person that I love. Then I had to endure the conservatives there threaten to overturn same-sex marriage. But my marriage would have remained valid if they had been successful. Thankfully, common sense prevailed in Canada and same-sex marriages remain legal.

Why are we Americans so full of hate and intolerance????? I would love to live in my own country again and have my marriage be recognized in all 50 states. At least my taxes now go to a government that works FOR me instead of against me.

Posted by AmeriCanadian | Report as abusive

Please, people – gay marriage isn’t the problem here… prolonged 18th century sexism is.

Posted by Ari | Report as abusive

What a joke,accepting this is another way this country is going in the wrong direction. If you agree to this you must be a liberal.

Posted by scott | Report as abusive

Marty, I think you need to walk a mile or two in someone else’s shoes before you pass judgement on them. Live every day of your life with the knowledge that many of the people around you (some of whom you love dearly) won’t accept you as you are, think you’re defective in some way, look down on you and your relationships. Then live with the knowledge that some people (not many, but enough to be scary) will kill you because of who you are. It’s not at all surprising that some (but not all) members of oppressed minorities become radicalized as a result. Unless it’s happening to you, you can’t know what it’s like to live their lives. Just saying to someone that you can understand how they can feel so angry goes a lot farther than your “just get over it” approach and you might find that people who were rigid and hard to get along with before might just open up a bit to your ideas as well.

I agree the headline plays a bit to some long-held and generally untrue stereotypes, but Ellen did wear pants and Portia did wear a dress so it’s not surprising that the editor went there. Still, it’s a little offensive.

Posted by MeTP | Report as abusive

John so you say “The opposite of life is death and therefore these types of relationships by their inability to produce life, bring death. “.

What about marriage of infertile hereosexual couples? Elderly couples that are in love but past child bearing years? Are they not allowed to get married in your view just becuase they arent going to “produce”?

That, my friend, is insanity. Goodness people…lighten up. You would sanction the marriage of ANY 2 people as long as they are of different sexes?

Posted by Poppy S | Report as abusive

She’ll cook and clean, huh? Well, it’s nice to see that chauvenism isn’t a gender specific condition. Good luck to them anyway.

Posted by ben | Report as abusive

There is nothing wrong with this marriage. True there can be no offspring, but then again, celibicy as the Catholic church demands of their priests, has that exact same effect.

Posted by howard | Report as abusive

Marriage is not a right–thus you will not find it in the Constitution/Bill of Rights. It is a privilege granted by The People upon certain unions. The traditions surrounding the ceremony are unrelated. It’s not up to the courts to decide who that privilege is extended to–right or wrong it is supposed to be up to us.

Posted by Josh | Report as abusive

Congrats to the happy couple!!! How exciting to see we are a tiny bit closer to real equality of all our citizens.

Posted by Terri | Report as abusive

Okay, its good to see some people here with lots of sense! Yes this headline is truly a sterotype, but think about it…You have this girl-girl couple, where one “plays” the male role….Which is a sure sign that the natural course of marriage is between a man and a woman, not a woman, and a “wanna be” man….If you are a female, be a female, not one in man’s clothing….Even though female roles nowadays have shifted as it has been the women who have had to be a mother and father to their children when father isn’t around…still this is absolutely wrong, and I don’t think we should glamorize this. Even still, to each his(her) own.

For those who compare this to the plight of discrimination of minorities….Similar(yes) but not he same thing…With that, it was purely discrimination for SKIN COLOR…not people who live a lifestyle that is inherently against God’s intention and purpose.

Posted by FLBlkGirl | Report as abusive


Do I think they are going to Hell or whatever people like to say about homosexuals?…NO! Thats not for me to judge. People are people and I respect them for who they are as God’s children, but…Don’t expect me to jump and shout, and sing and celebrate with or for you because I just know its wrong.

Posted by FLBlkGirl | Report as abusive

FLBlkGirl: Your religion (a characteristic, by the way, that is chosen) may prevent you from embracing same-sex marriage and I’m not about to trash your faith. But your ignorance of the history of discrimination is almost unbearable. How can so much have been forgotten in such a short time? Ask Jews, Catholics, Irish, Italians, Chinese, Japanese, American Indians, women, obese people, bald people, old people, disabled people, or just about any other “different” category of people whether discrimination against them as been based solely on their SKIN COLOR. I’m assuming (from your handle) that you’re a black woman. I’m a white man so it’s a little dicey for me to be lecturing you – but you really ought to know better.

On a related note, unless you have some particular insight into Ellen and Portia’s home life that you didn’t disclose, I don’t see how you know that either of the “plays” any particular gender role in their relationship. I’d like to know how you know that.

Posted by MeTP | Report as abusive

God has smiled on Ellen and Portia! What a great couple! I wish them every happiness.

Posted by Wayne | Report as abusive

If marriage is a religious function, then the government should have no part in it; everyone should contract for relationships with civil unions, then have religious ceremonies performed separately, called marriage, handfasting, mut’a, or whatever. Those who want to live in a theocracy should move to Iran.
If marriage is a government-sanctioned legal contract, then it is a civil right available to everyone of legal age, regardless of chromosomes or gender identity. In the U.S., the failure to separate church and state serves neither.

Posted by Pushme-Pullyou | Report as abusive

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