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14:49 November 6th, 2008

UPDATE- Melissa rebels, Ellen saddened by Prop 8 gay marriage ban

Posted by: Jill Serjeant
Tags: Fan Fare, , , , , , ,

Comedian Ellen DeGeneres said she was “saddened beyond belief” at the decision by voters to ban the newly-won rights of gays and lesbians to marry in California.

But singer Melissa Etheridge sounds downright angry.

Etheridge,  47,  who did not get to marry her partner Tammy Lynn Michaels before the Nov 4 ballot,   suggested in a blog post that she would no longer pay her California state taxes because, as a lesbian, she did not now enjoy the same rights as as other Californians.

“Okay, so I am taking that to mean I do not have to pay my state taxes because I am not a full citizen,” Etheridge wrote.

DeGeneres and her longtime partner, actress Portia de Rossi, were among the roughly 18,000 gay or lesbian couples who married in California in the five-month honeymoon between same sex marriage becoming legal and then being banned in a ballot initiative known as Proposition 8.

The popular chat show host married de Rossi in August in the most high-profile same sex marriage since such unions were declared legal in California in May.

“I was saddened beyond belief. Here we just had a giant step toward equality and then on the very next day, we took a giant step away,” DeGeneres wrote on her website

“I believe one day a ‘ban on gay marriage’ will sound totally ridiculous. In the meantime, I will continue to speak out for equality for all of us,” she added.

California authorities say marriages of gays and lesbians between June and November will remain legal. Hundreds of gay rights activists held street protests in Los Angeles and San Francisco after the Prop 8 vote and have filed several lawsuits in a bid to overturn the decision.

104 comments so far

Fascinating discussion! however, it’s not only ‘gays’ who lose when human rights are oppressed; we ALL lose. Certainly we have all lost with this absurd battle in the continuing attempt to legislate morality across our once- democratic republic. The only surprise here is that so many posters apparently agree with Mormon morals! after all, they spent $25m pushing this through. please wake up America, before our grandchildren are living a Dickensian life in debtors prisons, with NO choice about who sleeps behind them…the gay agenda is as American as your mom’s pie!

- Posted by notgay,butthappy

Gays aren’t any more fired-up to get married than they are to join the Army. They simply don’t like being told they can’t do something. If you let them marry, they’ll find something else to complaint about. They’re unhappy because people don’t accept their lifestyle and they think legislation will change that. They’re wrong.

- Posted by Dan

most people that live in the most poverty stricken parts of the world survive because they have a traditional three generation family which is important.many people are against gay marriage because they associated it to the progressive attacks on the traditional family unit.i live in ca and see the tragedy of middle aged people who listened to the “cool people” and followed a jerry seinfelt type of lifestyle a series of brief relationships, and are sadly middle aged and emotionally bitter because no grand kids etc.so it is not only religious fanatics that oppose gay marriage,it is people who see a bad lasting side effect down the road.

- Posted by brian lee

For me, banning gay marriage is the correct thing to do, and not for any biblical reasons. The fact is, just as most legitimate studies point to the dangers of man-made global warming, most of the legitimate studies point to children being better off with a mother and a father. Sure you can find some outlier studies for anything. This is what people on the right do to bolster their opinion on global warming, and what people on the left do to bolster their opinion on gay marriage. But the facts are pretty clear. A child is better off with one mother and one father.

And the state has every right to promote those things that are good for the whole. It happens all the time. And this is no different. Gay marriage does not benefit anybody but the 2 people getting married. Traditional marriage benefits the entire country. It has nothing to do with equality.

A blind person may want to be an airline pilot. But because of what nature dealt him, he cannot. That doesn’t make him any less of a person, nor is he any less equal. Gay people are just as equal as anybody else. But through no fault of their own, nature has dealt them a hand which not only is a Darwinian biological dead-end, but also an inferior mechanism of raising children.

And sure, there is no guarantee that a child raised by gay parents will turn out bad, nor is there a guarantee that a child raised by a traditional couple will turn out great. Just as there is no guarantee that wearing a seat belt will save your life in a crash, nor is it a guarantee that not wearing one will kill or harm you. But the chances are better if you wear a seat belt. And the chances are that the child will be better off with a mother and a father. And that is why government does, and should, support things which are beneficial to the country as a whole, whether it be seat belts or traditional marriage.

- Posted by Pat

Angie- You, as a gay person voting for yes on 8 should be SO ASHAMED! I have been in two lovely gay weddings this summer and because of BIGOTS and, apparently you -their love means nothing and I don’t get to marry the man that I love.

Thanks Angie- you must really hate yourself- you make me so angry.

- Posted by Phillip McCulley

Remember… Gay and Lesbian Californians DO have the exact same rights as every other Californian. They can marry a person of the opposite sex.

This ultimately is not about gay rights at all, but about the right of the free practice of religion. These Churches are attempting to preserve their right to sanction marriages as directed by their own conscience. When same-sex marriage is established as a constitutionally-protected right, it will shortly follow that it will be unconstitutional for any organization to deny this kind of marriage. Churches face the very real prospect of being forced out of marriage altogether. Whether you are religious or not, you must realize that this is a matter of the deepest and most profound significance to religions of nearly every variety around the world.

This is not a case of religions meddling in a civil rights issue at all. This is about civil authorities and politics meddling in a moral and religious issue, which is what marriage is. If there was a way to forever protect the rights of churches to sanction marriages according to their own beliefs without the prospect of civil interference, I have no doubt that they would immediately drop their support of these kinds of constitutional amendments.

- Posted by Greg

And here I thought California was totally hopeless… Family Values and Conservatism live on and the majority has spoken!! Deal with it.

- Posted by Yvonne

So I guess power to the people, let the vote count doesn’t mean the same to gays and lesbians. You do want special treatment.

- Posted by Robin

Desi nailed it early on and it bears repeating:

“This is not an issue of EQUALITY but rather an issue of DEFINITION. All citizens have the same marriage rights regardless of sexual orientation, and marriage IS the union between one man and one woman. If anyone should be given a special right to REDEFINE this institution, then to be fair ALL people should be given the same equal right. Sexual orientation is irrelevant.”

Exactly. If the definition is expanded to include one man/one man and one woman/one woman, then I fail to see any logical or legal reason from it further being expanded to include two men/one woman, three women/one man, one man/one child (don’t believe it couldn’t happen), etc. Thus, by defining every conceivable relationship, it effectively defines none, and becomes worthless.

- Posted by DB

Too bad, grow up. Come on Ellen this is the way the world works we win some and lose some. Obama won the presidency and gay marriage lost. And Melissa since I voted against Barack Obama and he won does that mean I should stomp my feet like a little kid and proclaim I’m not going to pay my Federal Taxes because McCain lost. Sorry girls that’s the way the ball bounces.

- Posted by Dr_Moon

I am tired of Hollywood telling me how to vote, and how to live my life!! We voted twice - get over it!!!

- Posted by anne

Oh whine, whine, whine. Too bad, the people have spoken, so live with it. Don’t you people get it, this is how a democracy works. A majority of voters go to the polls and elect an inexperienced, anti-American, Communist as president and at the same time these same people vote that marriage between two people of the same sex should be illegal. Live with it. If the courts turn over the ban on gay marriage then they should over turn the Obama victory. What is most important to gays? Obama or marriage.

I would be very pleased to trade Obama for gay marriage. America made the biggest mistake in history by electing Barack Obama as president. I hope I’m wrong, I hope he makes a liar out of me. I would love to be sitting here one year from now and be writing how Barack Obama has done a magnificent job, our economy is moving along, we have more money to spend than before. Our jobs and incomes are secure and growing and we don’t have to worry about health care and buying medicine. Terrorism has diminished and the whole world loves us. But chances are it won’t happen. So gays get used to it. You’re no more disappointed with prop 8 as I am in the election. I have to live with the election so you have to live with prop 8.

- Posted by Dr_Moon

I don’t know how we as Americans can go internationally and demand that other foreign governments respect the human dignity and values of their minorities and espouse the virtues of democracy, while we indoctrinate our prejudice against the gay minority group in our country. So I pose this to the pastor, when you preach and promote human dignity, do you provide a small disclaimer section or amendments for gays and lesbians. Marriage is a ceremony and an affirmation of eternal love and unity for a couple, which is shared my NUMEROUS religions not solely Christian. If you supporters truly wanted to protect kids and religious institutions from prosecution, they could’ve written that explicitly in their proposition. But they didn’t, they chose to wholly write off any union between same sex couples, which sir I believe is immoral discrimination.

- Posted by Stephen

Hey gay folks, how about giving straight folks a break? While you whine about not being “married”, straight folks are the ones making themselves much more vulnerable in life by having and raising kids. While you and your partner fly to Fort Lauderdale on the tons of disposable income you enjoy, we’re stuck at home paying for diapers, food, and clothes for our children (for which there are no regrets). Who are the ones having and raising the children without which there would not even be a human population? That’s right, us. So cry me a river.

- Posted by anotherpoint

I am appalled by the huge amount of narrow minded people in this state. I am also surprised that so many would vote to let the government rule yet another part of our lives and therein take more of our liberty and freedoms away. By voting in amendments such as this we are letting the government dictate how we can live and under what guidelines. I am not gay myself, but I voted no on this proposition based on the fact that I love liberty and freedom and everytime we turn around, more and more of it is being taken away from us.
Someone recently said to me that we all have the right to our own opinion and that I do agree on, but these are usually the narrow minded christians who say this and then in the same breath say anyone who does not believe as they do are wrong. Also all those out there saying that a civil union affords the same rights to gay couples as marriage are gravely mistaken. Do more research and make sure you understand the situation before you start dictating what is fact and what is not.

- Posted by Alicia

As a gay man, I am sad about the outcome of Prop 8. As a pragmatist, I beleive the Gay Community Leaders need to work on something that will actually pass and give Gay people the actual rights they need to live prosperous and healthy lives. This of course is Civil Union Laws. The politicians that support us would be thrilled to help us pass legislation because they know that a majority of American want us to have equal rights under the law. Even Pres-Elect Obama mentione dit thoughout the campaign.

A majority of Americans do not want us to be “married”. While I understand the symbolism of this word marriage, the Gay leaders are denying their own people actual rights over a symantic issue. What is to stop a couple from having a civil union license and then going to their liberal church and getting married. While we argue over the word Marriage, Gay people lose their homes through unjust intestate succession laws. Gay people do not have the oppotunity to obtain domestic benefits from their partner’s companies. Gay people do not recieve SS survivor benifits or pension benefits. We all know the list of injustices. However, to get the word “marriage” on some license, we are walking away from obtaining everything else. I think this is a 2 step process. We can really help people if we use my strategy. Accept that the country is ready for Civil Unions and it is not ready for marriage. WE NEED ACTUAL RIGHTS. We can’t afford to waste more time on something that is not ready to be passed. Please read this and give serious thought to taking this fight in a direction that can actually give us a real victory.

- Posted by mikez6658

Gee, I guess all you Barack Obama supporters who are gay can thank all you Barack Obama supporters who are straight for this fine kettle of fish. Enjoy the next four years.

- Posted by RandyGM

I’m a Pastor at a Christian Church, and even though I don’t agree with your lifestyle, I am respected to allow you free choice to do as you please, so long as it doesn’t affect the rest of society, even though everything does affect everything (butterfly effect). However, some writers on this blog really need to analyze why Prop8 voters cast their vote. Some of your comments show a lack of understanding, research, or care about what would actually happen would you get your way. Many of you are so focused on what you want, you don’t even care about what the rest of California wants, (or even the U.S, shown in voter turnout). Now, I feel for you, and desire that you have your way, as that is your own choice, and you will have to answer before God for your choices. However, because many of us have families, kids, schools, and churches, and we see already in the newspapers the schools indoctrinating our children (kindergarten, first and second grade, a father being arrested for trying to protect his son), as well as seeing how the words would change in “marriage” would also change for the church according to the laws of the land the church must follow, regardless of separation of Church and state), that there are bad people (and there are) who will use that to bring the churches down. Now, it’s not too hard to see that. It’s not too hard already to see little Johnny being taught something his parents do not want forced. Our belief is that we want freedom to raise our kids as we want and protect our families and churches from the destruction. That is my, that is our, California’s and U.S.’s main reason why we are voting yes on Prop8. Not because we don’t care or want to see you happy, it’s purely to protect our kids, churches, and families without it being forced upon us, as it is now, even with these undue riots. Do we not believe in Democracy? I mean we’re not asking a biased court to arbitrarily change the laws of abortion just because we’re still the minority in the vote, even though we promote, just as you, EQUALITY for ALL. So, how do we promote peace for both sides. It’s not easy, but one sure way is to have you get your way without it affecting traditional marriage, kids in schools, and churches. That is the only way. How do we help you come to terms and peace? How can we assist you to get what you want without taking a biblical term (marriage), and trying to change the definition just because you don’t like it? What do you really want is the question? What are you really looking for? What in essence do you NEED EXACTLY? Help me. Don’t say generic terms like equality and love. Go beyond that? What is meant by equality and love is not granted by a title? What are you really after?

- Posted by charles

How does gay marriage differ from civil unions? They afford the same rights it’s just that they are not called marriage. No one is losing there rights here. Marriage to my belief is a man and a woman instituted by God I do not want my children and grand children taught that gay sex is normal by school teachers and be told that I am intolerant or don’t have a say in what my children/grand children learn in school. This is not about rights, it’s about a definition of the word marriage and the protection of our children’s minds and the parent’s right to decide the sex education of their children. We are called haters and intolerant by those who disagree with us, but who is actually being intolerant and hateful? The people of the State of California voted twice a majority vote to up hold the definition of the word marriage. This is the United States, a democracy, a government of the people, by the people and for the people. The judges job description DOES NOT include creating law. They are empowered to up hold the law of the people. The majority of the people of California have spoken, the rest who disagree need to either move to a country that agrees with them or shut up!

- Posted by Kathleen

If you are gay move to Spain, a country that allows gay unions.

- Posted by Richard

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