The shiny brown dress never had a chance.

Last night, 23-year-old Wesley got “Auf’d” from Project Runway after a dress made out of a satin fabric he detested got panned by the show’s judges. You had to feel a little bad for him, given that the environmentally-friendly fabric was chosen by his model and not him.

Still, the judges pulled no punches.

“Shiny, tight and short is the quickest way to look cheap,” judge Nina Garcia said of the dress.

Judge Michael Kors also criticized Wesley’s construction of the dress, saying it looked like it had been handled by 20 sets of hands.

Poor Wesley also got slammed on the show’s message boards for his own outfit — shorts paired with a blazer.

“Wesley looked beaucoup looney in those shorts of his onstage — what was he thinking?” wrote one viewer.

Suede, a 37-year-old designer from Ohio, won the week’s challenge — to create a cocktail dress out of environmentally-friendly fabric chosen by a model. His dress made of red and white fabric strips layered on top of one another really stood out for the judges — including guest judge Natalie Portman.

But it’s Suede’s penchant for talking about himself in the third person that makes him stand out among the contestants.

“Suede is a bisexual Sagittarius,” he said while making his garment.

And, after winning the challenge:

“Suede rocked it!”

Fashion Design TV show “Project Runway” got off to a cracking start for its new season Wednesday night, swiftly sorting out the good, the bad and the just plain ugly among clothing designs that featured way too many tablecloths and shower curtains in its Season 5 premiere.

Even oh so polite Tim Gunn, the show’s star along with Heidi Klum, could barely restrain his horror at the number of contestants who opted for the easy way out in the grocery store challenge by choosing to make outfits out of tablecloths, shower curtains and garbage bags.

 ”I think the judges are going to  say you guys are a bunch of slackers,” Gunn said, dismayed.

And indeed, Gunn was right. Stella, who threw her outfit together in the last few minutes after complaining all day about the ”ugly, cheap-ass garbage bags’ she had selected, only narrowly avoided getting “Auf’d” by Heidi.

It it was Jerry’s white plastic shower curtain horror raincoat topped off with yellow plastic gloves that really freaked out the judges.  Judge Michael Kors said the dress underneath the coat looked like “a handiwipe gone wrong”. But when Nina Garcia termed it “what you wear when you’re killing someone” you just knew it was curtains for Jerry.