Felix Salmon

The Fund seeks to provide qualified investors with an opportunity to achieve long-term capital appreciation through investment in Emotional Assets. Its objective is to deliver a stable target growth rate of 15% per annum, with predictable volatility – at the same time preserving capital.

This is not satire. It’s real, and the fund manager is even giving quotes to the FT:

“Most fund managers over-promise and under-deliver. With emotional assets, there are no synthetic assets or fancy structures.”

Somehow the irony of a fund manager denigrating over-promising while still pledging to deliver stable 15% returns is never remarked upon.

In any event, I have it on good authority that next up will be the Emotional Liabilities Fund. Go ahead and monetize those neuroses!