Goldman Sachs is previewing the 2009 outlook from a light hearted perspective. “We hope readers take these thoughts in the spirit that they are meant and don’t take any offence at any of the contents,” reads the disclaimer.

The year starts with an interesting twist in the UK, where Chelsea Football Club releases a letter written to incoming US Treasury Secretary, Tim Geithner, asking whether if they signed David Beckham, would it make them eligible for TARP funds?

In February, Russian Prime Minister Putin declares that the American word recession would not be translated into Russian.

In March, President Obama announces an initiative for his infrastructure projects. Any ex Wall Street bankers that succeeded in building bridges and roads in half the planned time would be eligible for special bonuses to help keep them in the lifestyle they were used to.

In July, in yet another “who could have dreamt of that” event, Chrysler, General Motors, Ford, BMW, Daimler, Fiat, Volkswagen, and Peugeot, merge into one company, to be named “Worldcarco”. Toyota says they expect their share of the global auto market to be higher than that of Worldcarco.