India Masala

I missed the first episode of ‘Kya Aap Paanchvi Pass Se Tez Hain‘ – the Indian version of an American reality TV gameshow – but millions in the country tuned in on April 25 to watch actor Shah Rukh Khan and a bunch of kids torture contestants with questions lifted from school textbooks.

At work the next day, a colleague kept distracting me by bursting into giggles every few seconds till I couldn’t take it any more.

“What?”

“Shah Rukh Khan (giggle)… There was this (giggle) dude from Indore on the show who sang (giggle) Hindi songs in English and some rap in between”

“So?”

“Shah Rukh introduced him (giggle) as the first rappist (giggle) on the show”

“Rappist?”

“Rappist (giggle)”

“As in he wanted to say rapper”

“But said rappist (giggle)”

“He did not”

“Yes, he did (giggle)”

“Come on, Shah Rukh obviously knows the difference between rapper and rapist – and there’s no such word as rappist”

“He seriously didn’t know (giggle)”

“He must have winked or something”

“No, he didn’t. He didn’t dwell on it, didn’t explain it, just moved on to the first question”

“Just a mistake. He must have realised it the moment he said it”

“No, he genuinely didn’t know. Imagine Shah Rukh not knowing (giggle)”

The mystery remains unresolved. Does the Bollywood actor actually refer to Snoop Dogg and Eminem as ‘rappists’? Or was the wordplay a mistimed joke that fell flat.

News reports did not mention the gaffe.

Can those of you who watched the episode (and I am sure many of you did) throw some light on this important issue – my colleague is in danger of being institutionalized in a “giggle factory” and I am going to be nagged till I admit Shah Rukh Khan thinks rapists are rappers.