Bollywood and culture in an emerging India
Jaane Kahaan Se Aayi Hai: Alien disaster
The first few scenes of Milap Zaveri’s “Jaane Kahaan Se Aayi Hai” are actually quite funny. The dialogues are fairly okay and at one or two points you actually smile. Maybe this will actually turn out well, you tell yourself.
But when has life ever been that simple?
Especially a film critic’s life. Of course the film goes unbearably downhill from there and you want to throw something at the screen at the end of the two-and-a-half hour screening.
So, very reluctantly you follow the story of Rajesh Parekh, your average love-starved young man, whose only pre-occupation seems to be “pyaar” and how to fall into it. In his spare time he also functions as assistant director to Farah Khan (playing herself).
So desperate is our hero for love that one look at a pretty new assistant director and he decides he has fallen in love with her, only to have his heart broken when she rejects him. (Who wouldn’t, after all the inane dialogues he recites at every given moment on “pyaar”).
So what does a dejected, spurned lover do? He heads straight to the nearest deserted drive-in theatre to wallow in his grief and waits for a beautiful girl from Venus to fall into his arms and make him believe in love all over again. Well, guess what? That is exactly what happens.
Only the alien in question, who Rajesh names Tara (because she came from a star you see) wants to go back to her planet and take back some of the “pyaar” on earth there, because on Venus, as she explains earnestly to Rajesh, they have forgotten how to love.
And to make things easier for her, Tara has a magical instrument which will tell her who the most loved man in India is. This man turns out to be Desh (Ruslaan Mumtaz) the dashing hero of the film that Rajesh is assisting on.
Tara turns all her alien energies on wooing Desh, while Rajesh roams around looking like a lost puppy, and spouting even more inane dialogues about the importance of “pyaar”.
This is one of those movies that could have been reduced to a 15-minute dialogue between the lead pair telling each other that they love each other, but instead Zaveri takes us through a long, pointless ride.
Along the way there is unnecessary drama, even more unnecessary songs and a “frozen dance” sequence.
Riteish Deshmukh just doesn’t have the screen presence to pull off a film on his own and in spite of all the revealing clothes that Jacqueline Fernandes wears, she has no acting to showcase.
The comedy is inane for the most part, except when it is unintended, like in the serious scenes.
This one should be banished to outer space.