India Masala

Guzaarish: Slow death

At one point in Sanjay Leela Bhansali’s “Guzaarish”, the protagonist of the film Ethan Fernandes sings “it’s a wonderful world” while his mother is being buried. It’s a poignant moment, one where you feel the pain of the man. It’s also one of the very few genuine moments you will find in the film.

Everything else, like Aishwarya Rai’s make-up, seems fake and loud, and puts you off. The emotions, the set design, the dialogues, Hrithik Roshan’s beard are all out of this world, residing in some alien planet that only Bhansali inhabits.

I’m from Goa (where the film is set) and I can assure you, I don’t know of too many Goan women who wear Victorian skirts, have elaborate hairdos and bright lipstick, all the while nursing a paraplegic man. Actually, I don’t know if women anywhere do that.

The said paraplegic man is played by Hrithik Roshan, a former magician, who after a magic trick gone wrong, is paralysed from the neck down and confined to a wheelchair for the last twelve years, we are told.

He seems unfazed by his plight though, hosting a radio show from his run-down mansion, with the help of his loyal nurse Sofia (Aishwarya Rai, wearing said Victorian skirts and lipstick), who, when she is not helping him brush his teeth, is primly embroidering sheets.

One minute he is telling listeners to live life to the fullest and the next, he asks his lawyer friend (Shernaz Patel) to file a euthanasia petition in the court, asking for permission to die. The rest of the film chronicles his efforts in this direction.

It is also peppered with more characters that seem out of the world, including a young man keen to learn magic and talk as loudly as he can (Aditya Roy Kapoor), Ethan’s doctor Dr Nayak (Suhel Seth), and Ethan’s mother who says she cares for her son very much, but lives far away from him, never calling or visiting.

Action Replayy: The past ain’t pretty

It’s easy to romanticise the past, isn’t it? Easy to think back to the time when bell bottoms and “arranged” marriages were the norm and tell ourselves it was a much better time. The past has that intangible quality of making us all look a little better, even to ourselves. Perhaps that is why Bollywood is going back to the past so much nowadays, making films about every period but the present.

Director Vipul Shah certainly seems to believe in reliving the past in “Action Replayy”, as do his main characters but they relive it so badly you want to shake them back to the present. The past here holds no romance, there are only bad wigs and garish clothes to represent it.

Aditya Roy Kapoor plays Bunty, a young man witness to the bitterness in his parents’ marriage. He tells his girlfriend he would never make the same mistake as his parents. However, when his parents (Akshay Kumar and Aishwarya Rai Bachchan) threaten each other with divorce, he decides to go back to the past to try and save their marriage. Conveniently, the above-mentioned girlfriend has a madcap scientist grandfather waiting in the background, ready with a time machine (apparently the only thing scientists invent in films).

Bunty hops on to the machine and goes back to 1975, hoping if he can turn his parents’ arranged marriage into love, they will magically fall back in love in the present. He lands in the Mumbai of the past, where if you believe director Shah, everything happened in and around Victoria Terminus, including rock concerts. The Mumbai landmark is seen in every scene, as are people with loud make-up, huge sunglasses and polka-dotted clothes. Bunty meets Kishen and Mala in their youth, convinces them they should have a “love marriage” fending off dominating fathers and scheming bachelors in the process.

The whole film is so inane it is difficult to put on paper. In one scene, Mala actually agrees to a contest between her two suitors, agreeing to marry the one who can — get this — sing in the most number of voices.

Shah has absolutely no control on this film — at the end of “Action Replayy” you have no idea why everyone acted the way they did — you are just glad it’s over and you can finally go home. Akshay Kumar and Aishwarya Rai could have been styled so much better, at least it would have made up for the lack of acting on their part. Rannvijay and Neha Dhupia in supporting roles do nothing much except lurk in corners.

Going back in to the past can be a good thing sometimes, especially when the present seems so bleak. I suggest you spend this Diwali watching television to get a taste of some real 70s romance.

Robot is a critic-proof film

I could write a regular review of the Rajnikanth-starrer “Robot” as I do almost every week. I could give you the story outline and list out the positives and negatives, talk about the performances. But that would make no difference because most people are going to watch this film anyway. And no matter how absurd the storyline might be, you cannot escape the sheer star power of Rajnikanth. He makes even the most ridiculous scenes and plot lines look entirely stylish and believable.

So, in a departure from the usual drill, here are some thoughts on ”Robot” rather than a regular review

- First, the story in brief. Rajnikanth plays three roles in the film. That of a scientist who creates a humanoid robot, the robot itself who ”falls in love” with the scientist’s girlfriend (Aishwarya Rai) and finally the “bad robot” who is out to destroy everything. That is pretty much all there is to the story.

- The action, special effects and animatronics in “Robot” are perhaps some of the best we’ve seen on the Indian screen. The climax sequence, though long drawn out, is especially impressive and you can understand why this movie cost the amount that it did.

- Rajnikanth seems ageless. You wouldn’t believe he is more than 60 years old from the way he jumps, dances and talks. Of course, it is also the result of some good make-up and special effects but I think I understand where all those Rajnikanth jokes come from.

- Aishwarya Rai looked more like the “Robot” than Rajnikanth did. Her expressions were entirely artificial and so were some of her costumes in the dance sequences. Also, this is the shallowest role she has done in a long time — she has nothing to do but kiss Rajni (on the cheek, mind you, this is a family film) and look good. And she doesn’t even manage to do that most of the time.

- The film is too long. Yes, I know it would have meant a little less Rajni but did we really have to witness a five-minute long conversation with him and a swarm of mosquitoes? A lot of the scenes are entirely unecessary.

Six-step guide to making India’s most expensive film

Tamil filmmaker Shankar’s last project “Sivaji – The Boss” was reported to have a production budget of a billion rupees and his latest “Robot” is being pegged at 1.5 billion rupees, which would make it India’s most expensive film ever.

Starring Rajnikanth and Aishwarya Rai Bachchan, “Robot” is set for worldwide release on October 1. Here’s a step-by-step guide to making India’s most expensive film – from director Shankar himself.

BRING IN AN UNKNOWN ENTITY “I had made five films. I thought I should go in for a different film. But how different can you get? Perhaps I could have done something spiritual or about ghosts, something mythological perhaps. Maybe a film on non-living objects would work and what inanimate object could be better than a robot? If the main character is an inanimate object, everything is different, everything is interesting.”

GET THE BIGGEST STAR

“I wanted to do this film in 2000 with Kamal Hassan and Preity Zinta. But our dates didn’t match. Even then, the film had a huge budget. Every time I would take out the script, dust it, make some changes and the dates would remain a problem. When I finished “Sivaji – The Boss”, I told myself I absolutely had to make this film. It was now or never. Once again, it didn’t work out with Kamal sir for some reasons and since I had done “Sivaji” with Rajnikanth, I asked him. He agreed immediately. He told me – ‘if you have confidence in you, I am ready.’”

GET A GOOD PRODUCER “Making this film was like climbing Mount Everest. But I told myself that if I thought like that I would achieve nothing. I told my team that we would take it one day at a time. This was always going to be a big-budget film — the animatronics had never been used in an Indian film, we had a big star in the film and we didn’t want to compromise on anything. We had all the top technicians working on (it). In the beginning, another company was supposed to produce the film but they had financial problems mid-way through. Sun heard about our project and they had confidence in Rajni sir and my team, so they agreed.”

SHOOT A KILLER CLIMAX

Sanjay Leela Bhansali turns to music

At the launch of the first look of Sanjay Leela Bhansali’s latest offering “Guzaarish“, it came as a surprise that the trailer didn’t have any hint of the songs.

Instead, it was just a melody that served as a background. Given the memorable music of his earlier films, there are a lot of expectations from this one.

But the director does have a reason for keeping the music under wraps a little longer, because there is a brand new music director making his debut — Bhansali himself.

The director says he didn’t want to pass on the “deep thoughts” the characters would be expressing musically in the film to someone else.

“Only I can understand what my characters feel the best. So I thought it was best that I score the music for the film,” he said.

In “Guzaarish”, Hrithik Roshan plays a magician who becomes paraplegic after a stunt goes wrong while Aishwarya Rai-Bachchan stars as his lady love.

How Rajni became Robot

We Mumbaiwallahs hear so much about the big guns down south – Rajnikanth, Kamal Hassan, Mohanlal, Chiranjeevi, etc, but hardly get to hear them.

So of course, I didn’t know Rajnikanth has such a great sense of humour, in addition to being a huge star and a great actor. The veteran charmed everyone off their pants at the music launch of his new film “Robot”, and had the audience in splits with his explanation of how he came to do the film.

“If I hadn’t known Shankar (the director) before, I would have said no to the film, because it is a very tough role. You Kamal Hassan was to do the role initially, and even Shah Rukh Khan was approached, but ‘daane daane pe likha hai khane wale ka naam’ (every grain has the name of the person who is going to eat it),” he said, leading to hoots and claps from the audience.

I wonder if I have seen so much candid humour from any Bollywood superstar.

He described “Robot” as a never before seen experience in Indian cinema, and said he “guaranteed” that it would be a great film.

Touted as the most expensive film made in India (with an official budget of 1.5 billion rupees), “Robot” also has special effects similar to the one used in the Oscar winning “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button”, and of course the presence of former Miss World Aishwarya Rai as the film’s leading lady.

But that is not why it will be a hit, at least according to Rajni.

Raavan: Very little Mani, and absolutely no magic

The overwhelming feeling as one leaves the theatre after having watched “Raavan” is one of disappointment. Make that huge disappointment. Could it be that one of this generation’s finest filmmakers, is credited as director in this disjointed, mediocre effort?

Nothing in the two-hour film is reminiscent of Mani Ratnam’s class. Instead it is littered with shoddy direction, bad acting and long-winding but nonsensical dialogues. The only saving grace is Santosh Sivan’s magical cinematography, but the truth is even that cannot hide the flaws in this film.

Abhishek Bachchan plays Beera, an outlaw, who we are told is a terror but there is no context given to his action. He inspires fear in the villagers of Lal Maati, but not in Ragini (Aishwarya Rai), the wife of a police officer whom he kidnaps for revenge. Dev (Vikram) sets out in search of his wife, but there is no urgency to the search it seems, because he has all the time in the world to stop at villages and ask for people’s opinions on Beera, to read maps and even to shave. You never get the feeling that he wants to find his wife.

There is really nothing more to the story than that. Perhaps Mani Ratnam wants to build a relationship between Ragini and Beera but we never see that happening. It is as if he came up with these interesting characters, but didn’t have the time to develop them. Even Ragini’s sympathy towards Beera seems half-baked and we never really get a sense of why she is doing what she is.

The actors, it seems are trying to make up for the flaws but end up over-compensating. Abhishek Bachchan does nothing but scowl and growl, Aishwarya Rai does nothing but scream and shriek and Vikram…well, he actually does nothing except perhaps advertise a certain brand of sunglasses in every scene. But special mention here for Priyamani, who in her miniscule role brings more pathos on screen than all the other actors put together.

The references to the Ramayana are interesting but by the time they start to take shape, you are far too exhausted to care.

In every Mani Ratnam film I have seen so far, irrespective of whether I liked it or not, I have taken away one lasting image. There is no lasting image in this one. Also, for a filmmaker who has always managed to use his craft to tell his story, this one has far too many dialogues which weigh the story-telling down. Every theme in the film is too obvious and pushed down your throat.

A Minute With: Aishwarya Rai

For someone who came into the Indian film industry as a former beauty queen, Aishwarya Rai has done her fair share of unglamorous roles in Bollywood.

From playing an abused wife in “Provoked” or the middle-aged wife of an industrialist in “Guru”, Rai has always let her acting do the talking.

In her latest film “Raavan”, she plays Ragini, the wife of a police officer who is abducted. It’s a role which involved negotiating tough terrain, heavy rains and the creatures of the jungle.

Rai spoke about her role in Mani Ratnam’s “Raavan”, the challenges of working in a bilingual film and why she feels bad when she is criticised for her dressing sense.

Q: Both Abhishek (Bachchan) and Vikram have said that you are the true hero of “Raavan”. Is that true? A: “That is so sweet and generous of them but they have both done an incredible job. But I think the real heroes are the whole team of “Raavan”, the unsung heroes, whether it is the set designers, the workers, everyone who was on set everyday and working as hard, if not more than us. We used to start at five every morning and end at night. It was exhausting. We have all worked hard.”

Q: This film has two leading men. Whom do you share a better chemistry with? A: “I think that is something that all of you will happily write about later, but this should prove what we always talk about — that chemistry is in the screenplay. The moment is created by the screenplay and by the director. “It is not about an individual and the crackling chemistry with someone. But yes, what happens is that when you see me and Abhishek on screen, there is more of an instant connect. But I don’t know if that is perception or fact.”

Q: You have said this is a tough film to shoot. Did having Abhishek around make it easier for you? A: “Well, we are firstly actors and as actors we genuinely love working with each other. What is great about working with your spouse is that at the end of the day there is the comfort of coming home which is great, because this was tough. “I would be exhausted because of the dual films being made, so I wouldn’t get a minute off on set. It is comforting to come into the arms of love at the end of the day. “Also, when you are with each other, you are braver for each other. If you were away and heard that your husband had to jump off a 90-feet-high cliff, it would be very scary. You would be over concerned for each other but being together in this makes it better. It is tough but we are adventurous spirits and like to push ourselves, so it was good not to explain that to each other.”