India Masala

Bollywood and culture in an emerging India

Dulha Mil Gaya: Excruciatingly bad

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How long does it take you to decide whether a movie is going to appeal to you or not? It didn’t take me longer than the opening credits of Mudassar Aziz’s “Dulha Mil Gaya“.

Bollywood actress Sushmita Sen poses for a picture during the premiere of "Dulha Mil Gaya" in Mumbai January 7, 2010. REUTERS/Manav ManglaniCall me judgemental, but when you see a rather chubby Fardeen Khan attempting to woo a pretty young thing in the most half-hearted way possible and Sushmita Sen referring to everyone in sight as “daaaaahling” even before the opening credits have rolled, you cannot help but cringe.

As you settle down for what will be a very long three hours, you hope that some cinematic miracle will make this film bearable. But of course, that is hoping for too much. When your lead protagonists are named Shimmer (Sen) and Donsai (Khan), what else can you expect?

So Donsai aka Tej Dhanraj, playing perhaps the most clichéd role in Bollywood history, has an eye for the pretty ladies but an aversion to commitment and marriage.

All the Best: Adding that Diwali sparkle

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Watching three films in the space of 18 hours isn’t easy, especially when the first two are films like “Blue” and “Main Aur Mrs Khanna“.

When I settled into my seat to watch Rohit Shetty’s “All the Best”, I was really hoping for some laughs. Thankfully, I got my share of them.

Acid Factory: Heartburn best avoided

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Most films have one distinguishing characteristic — maybe the music, the animation, perhaps the running time or a huge budget.

Suparn Varma’s “Acid Factory”, which releases in cinemas this week has a unique feature — that of having the biggest ensemble of bad actors on a single screen.
 
Fardeen Khan, Aftab Shivdasani, Dino Morea, Dia Mirza, Danny Denzongpa and even the usually dependable Manoj Bajpai put in such atrociously bad performances that you wonder how they got away with it.
 
In spite of an interesting storyline and a reasonable screen time, you are never hooked to the events on screen, and even during the climax of the film, I was tempted to whip out my mobile and recheck my messages for the day — they would have provided far more entertainment.
 
Fardeen Khan plays Romeo, a cop who has “applied for an undercover assignment” (didn’t know that happened) to uncover dreaded don Kaiser (Irrfan Khan).

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