India Masala

Housefull 2: Twice the torture

Reviewing a movie like Sajid Khan’s “Housefull 2” is a futile exercise. In fact, I don’t think the makers of this film made it for creative purposes — this is a money-making venture, and going by the number of people who came to watch it at 9: 15 a.m. on Good Friday morning, I would say it’s well on its way to becoming a successful one.

Khan doesn’t take off from where the first “Housefull” left off — this is a whole other story. But he does keep the toilet humour, over-the-top acting and noise pollution that characterised the 2010 film. Instead of laughing gas at the Buckingham Palace, he adds a fake Prince Charles who attends a wedding at the end and persuades one of the characters to stop shooting people in the name of “the queen and the country”.

This time there are four heroes, four heroines and four fathers — all trying to find the right partner for their children. Rishi Kapoor and Randhir Kapoor play brothers who are always at loggerheads and compete to see who will find the richest groom for their daughter.

They zoom in on one groom — Jolly (Riteish Deshmukh), the son of the richest Indian in Britain but he’s in love with someone else. By some contrived twist that must have made sense to director Sajid Khan, he ends up convincing both fathers that his friends Sunny (Akshay Kumar) and Max (John Abraham) are Jolly. To cut a long story short, there are four Jollys in the film, out of which three are fake, causing much confusion among the brides and their fathers.

Try as I might, I cannot make sense of the story beyond this. After a while, for the sake of your sanity, you would do well to just go with the flow and not keep track of the plot.

Of the cast, everyone goes completely overboard, except for Johnny Lever, who plays the confused Maharashtrian secretary to Mithun Chakraborty with his trademark flair. There are some funny moments in the film, but they are few and far between — there is just too much toilet humour and the bad jokes completely overshadow them.

If you liked the first “Housefull“, you’ll like this one too. If you like good cinema, avoid this one.

Force: If only muscles could act

When a movie has at least three prominent product placements in the first ten minutes of a film, you are bound to cringe. Nishikant Kamat’s “Force” will make you wince, at least in the first half of the film, and not just because of the product placements. Thankfully, unlike most films, this one gets better — so there is hope yet.

Kamat, who earlier directed “Mumbai Meri Jaan” — on the Mumbai train blasts and its aftermath — now turns to the essential cop film. You know the drill — honest, upright police officer, out to finish the bad guys (the drug dealers in this case), falls in love with bubbly girl whose only actual function is two songs and being kidnapped by the bad guys, and lots of action scenes in deserted warehouses.

John Abraham plays Yashvardhan, the honest officer in question. Out to finish off all the drug lords in India, he comes across a man who claims he can provide him with information of drug lords all over the country. Without stopping to think, Yashvardhan goes out to finish them, never once questioning how one person knows so much about people the entire police force can’t seem to trace.

Of course, it turns out that the “informer” was just a henchman of another drug lord (played by newcomer Vidyut) who wanted to finish off his competition. When they finally realise their mistake, Yashvardhan and his team of three pursue the drug lord who is now on their trail.

This is not a new story but Kamat does bring a good amount of style to the film, which is its saving grace. There are holes in the script the size of craters, Genelia D’Souza grates on your nerves with her fake shrill laugh, and the less you talk about John Abraham’s expressions, the better it is.

This could have been another “Dabangg” or even a “Ghajini” for all the blood and gore and cosmetic bullet wounds that are showcased here, but the leading man lacks the personality that such a film requires. When he is required to produce expressions of any kind, all he can do is flex his muscles.

If only John Abraham’s muscles could act, “Force” would have been a good film. As it stands though, this is at best an average cop thriller. Watch at your own peril.

Jhootha Hi Sahi: The truth is out and it’s ugly

I have a serious complaint against lovers in Bollywood films. Even if they know where the other person stays and can easily deliver the “I love you” speech at the lover’s house, they insist on hanging off a cliff or climbing atop a bridge from where they can declare their undying love for each other. Don’t they realise how ridiculous it looks?

As you can guess, the above rant is inspired by a scene in Abbas Tyrewala’s “Jhootha Hi Sahi“, a dreary and dull rom-com that features perhaps the most wooden performances by a lead pair that I can remember and a lot of inane situations like the one described above.

John Abraham is one half of the wooden pair and plays Siddharth, a geek who co-owns an Indian bookstore in London with two of his friends. We are told that he stammers but only when he meets a beautiful woman. Siddharth comes across artist Mishka (newcomer Pakhi) when she calls him mistaking his number to be that of a suicide helpline. He talks to her through the night and suddenly, she doesn’t want to kill herself any more.

The two become “phone friends” but for some reason never quite explained in the film (or perhaps I missed it while I was yawning), he doesn’t want to reveal his identity to her. Instead, he befriends her as Siddharth the bookstore guy and talks to her on the phone as the helpline counsellor, leading a double life of sorts.

The film follows a predictable and boring trajectory from here on. There is of course the obligatory ex-girlfriend and boyfriend, the funny friends who egg them on and my main grouse — the ‘bridge’ epiphany at the end.

The film suffers from really bad casting, which is ironic given that Pakhi was casting director for Tyrewala’s earlier hit “Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na”. John Abraham tries so hard to act, you are embarrassed for him. He is completely unfit for this role.

Pakhi, on the other hand, is completely unfit to act. She has none of the qualities you expect in a leading lady. None of the screen presence at least and as for her chemistry with Abraham, there were scenes where she could have passed off as his elder sister.

Aashayein: Don’t hope for much

Nagesh Kukunoor’s “Aashayein” is one of those films that you will forget the minute you leave the theatre – there isn’t much in the film that will keep you gripped from start to end, but it isn’t so repelling that you want to get out of the theatre and leave.

For a film that is supposed to tug at your heartstrings, this one barely manages to touch them and except for a few moments, hardly any of the characters or their stories make an impact on you.

John Abraham plays Rahul, a compulsive gambler who wins a large sum of money and just as he is planning to spend it, discovers that he has lung cancer and only three months to live. Angry at the world, he leaves his city apartment, his fiancée and friends and heads to a hospice where people come to spend their last days.

Of course, he meets a whole host of characters who make him realise how precious life is. He makes friends with a rebellious teenager, Padma, who also has cancer. Together the two of them start a wish fairy club, and go about fulfilling the wishes of all the inmates in the centre.

Rahul also befriends Govinda, a young kid with supernatural powers (we are told) who gives him cryptic messages about some tasks that he has to follow. We are then shown dream sequences where John Abraham is stuck in a dungeon with badly made-up ghosts and searching for a elusive whip of all things. This, it is safe to say, is the most ridiculous part of the script. This dream is supposed to represent Rahul’s search in real life, but it ends up looking ridiculous.

John Abraham tries hard to make this one work, and Anahita Nair as Padma is very good. The supporting cast, which includes accomplished actors like Girish Karnad and Farida Jalal are under-used and stuck with limited roles.

Also, if you are making a film like this, please don’t show us clippings of “Anand” within the film. It will only remind the audience of how your film doesn’t even match up to a bit of the Hrishikesh Mukherjee classic.

World Cup mania hits Bollywood brigade

Football fever is taking over the world and Bollywood’s glamorous brigade hasn’t been left untouched.

Film stars like Shah Rukh Khan, Imran Khan and Lara Dutta are either headed to or are already in South Africa to catch a glimpse of football heaven.

While Shah Rukh and Dutta watched the semifinals, actor Imran Khan, fresh from promoting his movie “I Hate Luv Storys” will be leaving India soon to watch the finals.

“I am not a huge fan of football but it is a once-in-a-lifetime experience to watch the FIFA finals,” Khan told Reuters.

But he is sure to find some familiar faces there. Shah Rukh Khan is currently in South Africa with family and friends as is former IPL Commissioner Lalit Modi.

“(I) am so excited that will be showing my kids the world cup…hope they remember it like I do seeing it on TV with my mom,” Khan wrote on his Twitter account.

Those not in South Africa catching the live action are content to do it at home. Bipasha Basu and John Abraham are catching all the action from Mumbai, as is the Bachchan family.

Dhoni gets hitched; celebrities tweet best wishes

As one of India’s most eligible bachelors tied the knot late on Sunday night, you could almost hear the sound of a million hearts breaking.

But along with that, you could also hear the sound of a million fingers typing furiously on their phones, so that they could tweet their best wishes to Indian cricket captain Mahendra Singh Dhoni and his bride.

Everyone from Bollywood’s Shilpa Shetty to Bipasha Basu, to teammate Yuvraj Singh “tweeted” their best wishes to the captain. (Congratulate Dhoni here)

“Got to know mahi is getting married! Congratulations dhoni and sakshi hope u have a great life together,” Yuvraj Singh tweeted.

Yuvraj and most of Dhoni’s team-mates did not make it to the wedding but actor John Abraham is said to have attended the hush-hush affair.

Media reports also suggest that Abraham and girlfriend Bipasha Basu were to host a reception-cum-party in Mumbai for the newlyweds, but Basu denied the news.

“I have kept no reception for Dhoni on the 7th. It’s semi-finals (FIFA World Cup) on that day so we are just watching football and there is no Mahi (nickname for Dhoni) coming pls (sic),” she said in a text message.

New York: A film that will grow on you

Coming as it does nearly three months after a big-ticket Bollywood release — Kabir Khan’s “New York” is a relief.

The story of three friends whose lives change in the aftermath of the September 11 attacks in New York, the film manages to hold your attention for the most part, mainly because of some astute direction and its performances.

Sam (John Abraham), Maya (Katrina Kaif) and Omar (Neil Nitin Mukesh) are three friends who lead a carefree life on the grounds of New York State University. 

Omar harbours a secret crush for Maya and is devastated to learn she loves Sam. He moves away from their lives, only to re-enter it seven years later, in totally different circumstances.

Why he does so and the circumstances emerging from that incident form the gist of the story. The film is a story of three people and their relationship over the years but it is also a comment on the aftermath of terrorism and the practices we use to curb this dreaded menace.

Dostana: A spectacular first half but nothing great overall

‘Dostana’ is a path-breaking Bollywood film alright. Maybe not for gay rights but certainly the number of times the word ‘gay’ has been used in a single film.

Indians hoping for a “Brokeback Mountain” may do well to stay away from this slapstick comedy about two men pretending to be a gay couple in order to lay hands on a top-notch condo overlooking the sun-kissed sands of Miami.

The opening shot of John Abraham emerging from the sea sets the tone for the film, with the camera lens lingering a tad too long on his bright yellow trunks.

The latest offering from filmmaker Karan Johar features the usual mélange of romance, snazzy designer wear, exotic locales and foot-tapping numbers.

But writer-director Tarun Mansukhani plays a masterstroke with the ‘gay’ plot, setting the stage for a hitherto unused treasure trove of witty one-liners and bawdy humour.

But why do the leading men pretend to be gay?

Well, photographer Kunal (John Abraham) joins male nurse Sam (Abhishek Bachchan) in the hunt for an apartment, destiny taking both to the abode of (Neha) Priyanka Chopra.