Ashutosh Gowariker’s “What’s Your Raashee” is supposed to be a light, romantic comedy about the search for a perfect bride.

It stars Priyanka Chopra in twelve different avatars, playing a girl from each zodiac sign and Harman Baweja as Yogesh Patel, the eligible groom who has to choose one of those girls.

When I heard the premise, I must admit I was intrigued. It sounded interesting, and given Gowariker’s reputation, I went in expecting a good film.

Almost four hours, numerous songs and twelve mini-stories later, I came out with a headache.

Patel, who lives and works in Chicago, is tricked by his parents into coming down to India and getting married.

Given that he doesn’t have much time, Patel decides to see twelve girls only, each one from a different zodiac sign.

Of course, as you know, Priyanka Chopra plays each girl, albeit in a different avatar.

So there is Anjali, the awkward, simple girl who tries to speak English and smoke so as to impress her NRI suitor.

There is Vishakha, the ditsy heiress, and Pooja, the do-good doctor, all of whom are supposed to represent different facets.

Helping Patel in his search is his uncle, played by Darshan Jariwala (in an ugly wig and even uglier shirts). There is a mindless side track involving Jariwala and his wife and an astrologer-cum detective, just one of the many things weighing down the film.

The same story had been told by Ketan Mehta in his serial “Mr Yogi” many years ago and the reason that venture was a success was because it was divided into parts.

Watching “What’s Your Raashee” is like watching 13 episodes of a serial back-to-back and not a particularly engaging one at that. At some point, all the stories merge into one and you stop caring about who gets married to whom.

Instead you just want the credits to roll and make a bolt for it.

Three-and-a-half hours is a lot of time and if you want me to invest that much time in your film, there better be something worthwhile.

Unfortunately, there isn’t. Each character seems like a caricature and instead of providing us with some insights, all we see are superficial traits.

Oh, and a lot of songs.

When a film has as many as 14 songs, they better be good. But they aren’t. Instead they hamper the pace of an already flagging storyline and make you ache for that door even more.

The film has its moments, but those are lost in the haze of a clumsy screenplay and a story that just doesn’t move forward.

Of the cast, Harman Baweja makes a sincere effort, but doesn’t succeed very often. Priyanka Chopra should be commended for trying out such a different project but the fact is the screenplay fails her.

None of the characters are meaty enough to be memorable. Instead of giving them a song each, Gowariker should have put in more work in telling us their stories.

In the end, “What’s Your Raashee” begins to grate on your nerves. This isn’t an easy watch by any means. Go for it if you must.

‘Dostana’ is a path-breaking Bollywood film alright. Maybe not for gay rights but certainly the number of times the word ‘gay’ has been used in a single film.

Indians hoping for a “Brokeback Mountain” may do well to stay away from this slapstick comedy about two men pretending to be a gay couple in order to lay hands on a top-notch condo overlooking the sun-kissed sands of Miami.

The opening shot of John Abraham emerging from the sea sets the tone for the film, with the camera lens lingering a tad too long on his bright yellow trunks.

The latest offering from filmmaker Karan Johar features the usual mélange of romance, snazzy designer wear, exotic locales and foot-tapping numbers.

But writer-director Tarun Mansukhani plays a masterstroke with the ‘gay’ plot, setting the stage for a hitherto unused treasure trove of witty one-liners and bawdy humour.

But why do the leading men pretend to be gay?

Well, photographer Kunal (John Abraham) joins male nurse Sam (Abhishek Bachchan) in the hunt for an apartment, destiny taking both to the abode of (Neha) Priyanka Chopra.

But Neha’s guardian aunt is on her guard against the two strapping young men. Until Sam has the brainwave of confessing they are gay — and therefore ideal flatmates for a single woman.

The only problem — both have fallen head-over-heels for the vivacious Neha, who works for Verve magazine.

The object of their attention remains oblivious, enjoying the company of her ‘gay’ best friends and arousing their jealousy when a third admirer drops in — Neha’s boss Abhimanyu (Bobby Deol).

The big question — will love triumph over friendship? Or will the ‘gay’ tag be a hindrance.

The first half of “Dostana” is a delight. Bachchan as Sam draws the most laughs, especially with his antics in the Venice flashback sequence he concocts when asked how he and Kunal became a couple.

Sam’s London-based mom, played by a feisty Kirron Kher, doesn’t take too kindly to the idea of her son being gay — and crosses the Atlantic to harangue him.

Also not to be missed is a cameo by Boman Irani, playing a flamboyantly gay editor of Verve magazine, swinging hips with Bachchan and Abraham to a sizzling item number originally picturised on Bipasha Basu.

Unfortunately, the magic of “Dostana” wears off in the second half. The dialogues lose their spontaneity as the film veers inexorably towards its predictable climax.

And even Bachchan, who so ably carried the first half on his shoulders, can’t salvage the film from a heady mix of item numbers and far-fetched scenarios.

Still, if all you want is a dose of non-stop entertainment, gay or not gay, “Dostana” is the movie for you.

There might be some debate on whether the gay characters or mannerisms portrayed in the film are stereotypical, but it’s the first time Bollywood’s leading men are even pretending to be homosexual — so it’s certainly one giant leap for India’s gay community.

Fashion is suddenly a huge part of our lives. Models, fashion shows, haute couture, prêt and wardrobe malfunctions are dominating news headlines and beauty contests are springing up even in small towns across India.

That is why Madhur Bhandarkar’s “Fashion”, which makes an attempt to take a long hard look at the world of fashion, with its pressures and pitfalls, is a topical film.

Priyanka Chopra plays the part many girls must be living out at this very moment — a small-town girl who wants to make it big as a model. She rebels against her parents and comes to Mumbai.

She makes the rounds of auditions, parties and photographers, gradually realising the fashion world was not as glamorous as she imagined.

But her ambition is far too strong to let her take notice of these minor glitches. She is determined to make it big. Along the way, she makes friends with Rohit, a designer’s assistant and Janet (Mughda Godse), a small-time model.

She also falls in love with Manav (Arjan Bawa), a fellow struggling model, but the relationship can’t stand the pressures of their careers. Her big moment comes when she catches the eye of Abhijeet Sarin, the owner of a big fashion brand. She moves to the top league but loses out on friends along the way.

Director Bhandarkar has his intentions in the right place and from the first few frames, I thought I’d get to see a hard hitting, no holds barred look at the world of fashion. What I did get though was a whole lot of clichés and a predictable storyline. Bhandarkar includes a whole lot of subplots, introduces a whole lot of characters, but unfortunately, tells us nothing new.

There is the mandatory gay designer (Sameer Soni), the model taking drugs (Kangna Ranaut), the socialites, the businessmen, the front row elite, the photographers — but the film just seems to skim the surface. There is none of the impact that Bhandarkar’s films “Chandni Bar” and “Page 3” had.

How I wish Bhandarkar had given us a glimpse of the mind of a model — the pressure to look good, the crazy working hours, and the politics, rather than just telling us it exists. I wish he had made a much more honest film, merely because Priyanka Chopra deserved one.

As Meghna Mathur, the protagonist, she is at once innocent, ambitious, in love, angry, jealous, arrogant, and defeated — delivering each emotion with such intensity you feel for her at all times.

This performance has awards written all over it. I wish it had been backed by a more rounded script — that would have been the icing on the cake.

As for Kangna Ranaut — she plays the violent, schizophrenic Shonali Gujral to the hilt — but what is it with her and crazy, suicidal roles? I’d like to see her in a “nice” film for a change, in which no knives or drugs are involved.

The rest of the cast is competent enough, except for Arbaaz Khan as Abhijeet Sarin, who has one single expression throughout. Watch “Fashion” for Priyanka Chopra, otherwise, this one has nothing new to offer.

 My most reliable test of judging a fantasy film is whether I notice the person sitting in the next seat - if I do, that means the film wasn’t gripping enough for me to be totally absorbed in it.

That’s what a fantasy film should do - transport you into its imaginary world and haul you back only when the end credits roll - for that matter, any film should do that.

Drona didn’t pass the test.

That said, director Goldie Behl must be at least acknowledged for making the film - Drona is India’s serious attempt at making a fantasy flick with spectacular visual effects, unless we have Hatim Tai, starring Jeetendra, and a whole host of other tacky B-Grade Bollywood fantasy in mind.

Drona is certainly not in the line of Lord of the Rings or Harry Potter series, at least some one tried something different, and that needs to be lauded.

Not that this is to overlook the flaws in the film - especially when it actually starts off quite promisingly. We are told of an age old tale - the Gods nominate a particular king and his inheritors (Dronas) as the protectors of the precious amrit (nectar), which is sought by the asuras (demons).

We are introduced to Aditya, (Abhishek Bachchan) an orphan who grows up lonely and neglected in the company of grouchy aunt and her spoilt son (a la Harry Potter?).   

Unaware of his “special powers” Aditya meets magician Riz Raizada, an asura in search of the elusive amrit.

Riz recognises that Aditya is Drona and tries to capture the unsuspecting Aditya, and is almost successful, but his plans are thwarted by Sonia (Priyanka Chopra) - a female “bodyguard” of sorts, whose sole aim in life is to protect Drona.

In an impressive sequence, shot in the cobble-stoned streets of Prague, Sonia defeats Drona’s adversaries and tells him about his hidden strengths. Until now, the film had my undivided attention.

From here on, it should have become more interesting. Instead, the film starts spluttering.

Aditya is introduced to his mother, Jayati Devi (Jaya Bachchan in an insipid performance), who makes him aware of his responsibilities.

Enter the evil villain, who turns Jayati Devi into stone and warns Aditya/Drona that unless he brings him the amrit, his mother will not be released.

That sets Aditya, and of course Sonia, on a quest for the amrit. During the journey they encounter magical lands, strange people and of course, danger. Somewhere along the way romance blooms.

The special effects were what this film was touted for - and they do impress. Watch out for the scene with the horse and the train - but they impress only occasionally. Behl’s direction is the same - good in fits and starts. He is obviously inspired by LOTR and Harry Potter, but at least he should have stuck to that style of film making. Why try and add a Indian touch to it, such as the inane songs that are inserted at all the wrong moments and without any provocation whatsoever. Instead of taking the story forward, the songs in this film just hamper an already weak script.

Of the cast, Chopra is smouldering - as Sonia, she kicks in a punch and comes out as a better warrior than Drona.

That brings me to Abhishek Bachchan. Make no mistake; he does act the part well, especially in the first half and performs the stunts with required expertise but I just didn’t think he cut it as Drona.

He is saddled with some bad costumes and he isn’t looking his best. Perhaps a little more attention to styling could have saved the day.

Overall, this is an average film - neither great and nor too bad. Worth a watch only for the fact that this is Bollywood’s first real attempt at making a fantasy film.