I have a serious complaint against lovers in Bollywood films. Inspite of the fact that they know where the other stays, what he does, and the fact that they can just as easily go and deliver the “I love you” speech to their lover’s house the day after they’ve had their epiphany, they insist on hanging off a cliff or climbing a top a bridge, from where they can deliver their undying love for each other. Don’t they realise how ridiculous it looks?
As you can guess, the above rant has been inspired by a scene in Abbas Tyrewala’s “Jhootha Hi Sahi”, dreary, dull rom-com that showcases perhaps the most wooden performances by a lead pair that I can remember and a lot of inane situations like the one described above.
John Abraham is one half of the wooden pair, and plays Siddharth, a geek who co-owns an Indian book-store in London with two of his friends, and we are told stammers, but only when he meets a beautiful woman. He comes across Mishka (newcomer Pakhi), a depressed artist, when she calls him, mistaking his number to be that of a suicide help line. He talks to her through the night, and suddenly, she doesn’t want to kill herself any more.
The two become “phone friends”, but for some reason, never quite explained in the film (or perhaps I missed it while I was yawning), he doesn’t want to reveal his identity to her. Instead, he be-friends her as Siddharth the bookstore guy, and talks to her on phone as the help line counsellor, leading a double life of sorts.
The film follows a very predictable and very boring trajectory from here on. There is of course the obligatory ex-girlfriend and boyfriend, the funny friends, who egg them on and my main grouse, the epiphany in the end, which results in Siddharth clambering on London’s Tower Bridge as it closes, just so he can prove to her that he loves her.
The film suffers from really bad casting, which is ironic given that Pakhi was casting director for Tyrewala’s earlier film “Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na”. John Abraham tries so hard to act, you are embarrassed for him. He is completely unfit for this role. Pakhi, on the other hand, is completely unfit to act. She has none of the qualities you expect in a leading lady; none of the screen presence and as for her chemistry with Abraham, there were scenes where she could have passed off as his elder sister.
Tyrewala obviously wants to make a smart, funny film, on the lines of “You’ve Got Mail and “Notting Hill” but except for a few lines, the writing is laboured and tries too hard. His control over the movie wavers, and sub-plots are weaved sporadically into the main narrative. Also, Mishka is one of the most regressive heroines I can remember, coming across as this needy girl who doesn’t even take up a scholarship to Paris because her ex-boyfriend had promised that they would go together – before he dumped her, that is.
The only good thing in this film is the performance by Raghu Ram, who plays Siddharth’s Pakistani friend Omar. Ram is funny, sardonic and responsible for the few laughs in the film. Everything else is just a drag. Avoid.
I have a serious complaint against lovers in Bollywood films. Even if they know where the other person stays and can easily deliver the “I love you” speech at the lover’s house, they insist on hanging off a cliff or climbing atop a bridge from where they can declare their undying love for each other. Don’t they realise how ridiculous it looks?