One of my favourite films from 2008 was Abhishek Kapoor’s ‘Rock On’, the story of four rock band members who have a bitter fall out only to regroup years later.

It was a coming of age story that managed to stay in my heart for a while.

Vipul Shah’s ‘London Dreams’ has a similar storyline and a much larger scale and tone. Unfortunately, what it has in terms of budget and scale, it lacks in terms of heart.

The story revolves around two friends - Manjeet (Salman Khan) and Arjun (Ajay Devgan) - who grow up in Punjab’s Bhatinda.

Even as a child, Arjun is driven by an all consuming passion to make it big in music.

He dreams of having a concert at the Wembley stadium in London and works with single minded dedication towards that goal.

Manjeet on the other hand, has no ambition in life and prefers idling away time spying on girls to learning music.

After his father’s death, Arjun goes to London with his uncle and tries to make it as a singer.

On a visit to his hometown, Arjun hears Manjeet sing and decides to take him back to London and make him a part of his band.

The inevitable (in films) soon happens, and it is clear that Manjeet is a better singer than Arjun.

Angered by Manjeet’s success, Arjun vows to get his fame back.

The film is replete with sweeping scenes of rock concerts and is shot all over Europe. Shah tries to lend an epic, grand feel to his film, but is not supported either by the script or the performances. The music also doesn’t stay with you.

Ajay Devgn tries hard to make his character work, but doesn’t fit naturally into the role of a rock star as the protagonists of ‘Rock On’ did.

There is a certain charm in Salman Khan’s performance with the occasional humorous scenes thrown in. Unfortunately they are not nearly enough to salvage the film.

Watch it if you are a die hard Salman Khan fan.

The other day a colleague asked me why I never seemed to like any film these days. I thought about it and wondered the same myself. Don’t they make good films any more?

Two hours after watching Prem Soni’s “Main Aur Mrs Khanna”, you realise the answer to that question is a resounding NO.

I don’t know whether this is a particularly bad year for Bollywood or whether the industry is just going through a phase but this is certainly not the kind of film you expect as a big Diwali release.

Kareena Kapoor plays Raina Khanna, a troubled wife whose husband Sameer (Salman Khan) is in the middle of a bad spell in his career.

This leads to trouble in the marriage because as he puts it, “financial stability is at the heart of every happy marriage.” Really? Whatever happened to respect, trust and love?

Sameer decides to move cities, from Melbourne to Singapore, and Raina reluctantly agrees. At the airport, Sameer tells her she isn’t coming with him to Singapore. The reasons for this move aren’t elaborated — he merely tells her he wants to save their marriage.

Raina decides to stay on in Melbourne and gets a job at the airport duty-free shop. Bappi Lahiri puts in an appearance as the shop owner and the less said about his role, the better.

She also meets Aakash (Sohail Khan) a goofy waiter at the airport café who lends a shoulder for her to cry on.

I wish the director had concentrated a little more on the problems between Sameer and Raina and their conflicts. Instead we get a mindless romance that goes nowhere. There are so many holes in the script that Bappi Lahiri could have passed through them.

For instance how can Raina, a salesgirl at a shop, afford a mansion and wear designer clothes? Many things are left unexplained and the direction is extremely haphazard.

Preity Zinta is wasted in a mindless cameo that makes you wonder what made her accept it. None of the performances make the cut and even Kareena Kapoor and Salman Khan don’t make an impact. Avoid this film at all costs.

Setting out to create a Bollywood blockbuster? Just make sure you have all the right ingredients — big budget, famous actors, foreign locales, fabulous music.

Wait, something’s missing — yes, the script.

Unfortunately for Subhash Ghai, the era of formula films has long gone and even the most ambitious project can’t afford to take it easy in the writing department.

And that’s where “Yuvvraaj”, the 18th film by a director known as Bollywood’s ‘Showman’, fails despite liberal doses of Ghai’s trademark opulence and grandeur.

Essentially the story of three brothers, “Yuvvraaj” revolves around the free-for-all that ensues when a London-based billionaire dies, leaving behind his fortune to autistic son Gyanesh Yuvvraaj (Anil Kapoor).

It’s a bitter blow for estranged sibling Deven (Salman Khan), who has been struggling to make  ends meet as a chorus singer in a Prague orchestra. He also needs the moolah to impress sweetheart Anushka’s (Katrina Kaif) wealthy father who is not too happy about their relationship.

And so Deven trudges back to the Yuvvraaj family’s London mansion, from where he had been kicked out twelve years earlier. He finds it infested with his dead mother’s relatives, all eyeing a share in the family property.

Youngest brother Danish (Zayed Khan) is a reckless youngster, spending more time in casinos and clubs, coming to his senses only when his debts mount.

So while simpleton Gyanesh whiles away time throwing footballs in the living room, Deven and Danish become partners-in-crime, thinking of ways to wrest his riches. But will blood ties prove stronger than the lure of money?

By a happy coincidence, Gyanesh turns out to be a musical genius and is just the kind of singer cellist Anushka wants for her orchestra’s concert in Austria.

As “Yuvvraaj” moved inexorably towards its predictable climax, I couldn’t help but marvel at the exquisite vistas and grandiose concert halls of Prague and Austria — certainly more interesting than anything the film’s insipid dialogues could offer.

Not that the acting is impressive.

Both Salman and Zayed overact. Katrina Kaif pouts, dances and blithely plays the cello. As for Anil Kapoor, he does have his moments as the autistic savant but is still no match for Dustin Hoffman in the 1988 Hollywood film “Rain Man”. And the supporting characters end up as mere caricatures.

So is “Yuvvraaj” that bad? Well, if it were not for A R Rahman’s music, I would say yes.

Rahman breathes life into an otherwise tedious film, paving the way for a dazzling array of orchestra sequences inspired by Indian and Western classical music.

It’s perhaps the maestro’s best work since “Taal” in 1999, which was also a Subhash Ghai musical.

But “Yuvvraaj” falls way short of the symphony created for it and even the masked revellers and flamenco dancers that mysteriously appear in many a dance sequence can’t really salvage the film.

Bollywood hasn’t always had the most original of ideas, but “God Tussi Great Ho” takes the cake.

Not only is the film a clear rip-off from the Morgan Freeman-Jim Carrey starrer “Bruce Almighty”, it manages to be such a badly pulled off one that you want to rip off the writer-director-actors heads.

The movie has none of the clever writing or spirited performances that made “Bruce Almighty” an enjoyable film. Instead what you get are half-baked performances, imbecile jokes and direction that is pretty much, well, directionless.

Salman Khan is Arun Prajapati, aka AP, a television producer who doesn’t have much luck in life.

He is constantly berated by his father, his boss doesn’t like him, and his rival Rocky seems to be finding favour with the office hottie, Alia (Priyanka Chopra).

Every time he is faced with a problem, he blames it on God. He whines so much that ultimately even “Godji” gets tired. And offers AP the chance to play God for ten days.

Some mindless songs, even more mindless fight sequences and what seems like an eternity later, the screen darkens and the credits start to roll.

The second half of the film is pretty much of a blur, and that’s not a good thing.

Suffice it to say this movie has not much going for it. Salman Khan is neither bad nor good, merely indifferent. It’s almost as if he didn’t care about this role. What possessed Priyanka Chopra to do this role; I’ll never know but hopefully she won’t repeat such a mistake again — she is a complete waste.

Sohail Khan, who plays Rocky, manages to display a total of one and half expressions in the film. Anupam Kher is about the only bright spot. His role as Salman’s discontent, cynical father is performed with perfect comic timing. Amitabh Bachchan plays God, with his usual skill, but there is really nothing for him to do.

Just rent a DVD of “Bruce Almighty” instead.

It’s official. The ‘Pappu can’t dance’ number in the latest Aamir Khan production wasn’t meant to poke fun at actor Salman Khan.

Aamir, with nephew Imran Khan in tow, set the record straight on Salman’s television gameshow ‘Dus Ka Dum’.

In an episode telecast on Friday, host Salman asked Aamir if he was the Pappu referred to in the song in Imran’s debut film “Jaane Tu…Ya Jaane Na.”

The lyrics refer to someone named Pappu as a “muscular bachelor” with an “MBA” who can’t dance.

Aamir’s answer: Salman cannot be Pappu simply because -

a) Salman does not have an MBA

b) Salman dances extremely well

Well, that surely puts media speculation to rest. But I must say Aamir Khan seems to be having a tough time placating fellow Bollywood actors. One big question remains - does he really have a dog named Shah Rukh?