From our Washington antitrust correspondent Diane Bartz

There’s Google culture (toys, massages, free snacks) and Washington culture (cubicles, working, more working).

So which will prevail when Google opens its new Washington office? Let’s see: 

First, reporters on a press tour of the new facility are asked to agree to an electronic non-disclosure agreement. Er, no. Reporters decline. (Washington 1, Google 0). 

There are big, cool screens showing actual Google searches from around the world. Fascinating. (Washington 1, Google 1) 

Then, we’re told of the efforts to make the office environmentally friendly: glueless, partially recycled carpet; rainwater collected on the roof; and donations to charity for employees who do not drive. Cool. (Washington 1, Google 2) 

There’s a massage chair facing a big window. But there’s no one in it since, let’s face it, this is Washington. We hate relaxation. It makes us tense. (Washington 2, Google 2). 

But now let’s go to the Mother’s Room, for women who need to use a breast pump during the work day. Yeah, it’s better than going to a bathroom stall like most Washington moms, but the stuffed animals should be replaced by magazines with articles about avoiding the mommy track. No employees are nursing, however. So, score unchanged.

There’s loud, fun rock music blasting from the cafeteria. We go there and find, huh, it’s empty! There’s no one having a snack. Only an employee of the catering company, washing up. In fact, the only food we see anyone take is a cup of coffee. Very Washington. (Washington 3, Google 2).

Then there’s the playroom, with a ping pong table, foosball table (the sides marked “Democrats” and “Republicans”), yoga mats and the video game Guitar Hero. The room is empty. Google spokesman Adam Kovacevich picks up the guitar to demonstrate it. But he’s quickly stymied. “How do you turn this on?” he asks an assistant, who is also puzzled. They give up. (Washington 79, Google 2).    

(Photo: Reuters)