CES: Portraits in purple prose (part one)

January 5, 2011

I was going to call this blog entry about this year’s Consumer Electronics Show press releases, “language crimes.” But that’s overheated. I’ll call it “overexcited claims” instead. It’s a sample of the sometimes purple, overwrought prose that press agents produce to show off clients’ products. At shows like CES, where 125,000 people overwhelm Las Vegas to gawk at consumer electronics for several days, there’s a lot of effort to get attention from harried, cranky journalists.

Odd results occur when you pair dramatic words with products that, no matter how much you might love them, don’t lend themselves to such… Byronic descriptions. Often accompanying them are typical buzzwords of the technology public relations corps, which after 15 years still leave me wondering if perhaps I haven’t mastered my native language.

Here are a few (I’ll file more later today and on Thursday):

Redefining the visual experience

Sigma Designs, a leading provider of system-on-chip (SoC) solutions for delivering entertainment and control throughout the home, today announced that it will showcase at the 2011 Consumer Electronics Show, new products and award-winning solutions that bring the first studio-quality entertainment experience to the living room. For the first time, Sigma will demonstrate its new powerhouse SMP8910 and thin-client optimized SMP8670 Secure Media Processors…

Exciting new series of mobile accessories

MINNEAPOLIS,  Jan. 4, 2011  /PRNewswire/ — Bracketron, the leading manufacturer in mounting solutions for mobile consumer electronics, today announced an exciting new series of mobile accessories designed for use in the home, office or anywhere in between. The products combine trend-forward color, style and function to fit the unique lifestyles of consumers.

Global middleware for connected embedded computing verticals

QNX Software Systems Co., a global leader in operating systems and middleware for connected embedded computing verticals, including automotive, medical, and consumer electronics, will showcase new technologies and systems for in-car infotainment, mobile device integration, and smart home automation at 2011 International CES. The company…  will demonstrate a variety of new and soon-to-be-available implementations of its production-proven and future-ready software platform.

Fundamentally change how you manage your life and your ecosystem

LAS VEGAS  and  BASKING RIDGE, N.J.,  Jan. 4, 2011  /PRNewswire/ — Verizon Wireless said today that its first-ever exhibit booth at the International Consumer Electronics Show (CES) will show off the consumer and enterprise capabilities of its new 4G LTE network…. Visitors to the exhibit booth (Las Vegas  Convention Center, South Hall, #35216) will see firsthand how the nation’s fastest 4G LTE network can fundamentally change how consumers manage their daily lives and how businesses interact with each other and with their customers.  Working with nearly 50 different technology ecosystem partners, the Verizon Wireless booth will highlight more than 40 new solutions that take advantage of the fast speeds and low latency of the new 4G LTE Mobile Broadband network.

You are on-the-go. You demand. You want. (Your life’s soundtrack is “Run Lola Run”)

“As often as people are on the go, many would enjoy the option to access TV anywhere at anytime,” stated Terry Choi, director of sales, Cydle. “Cydle strives to provide products that will meet and surpass the needs of consumers, and we`re confident that the i30A will enhance the entertainment experience like no other.”

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