Much has been made about ABC, Fox, NBC and CBS taking a low-key approach to their upfront presentations this year. Still, ABC brought out Jimmy Kimmel for a few jokes in a reminder of what these events were like in past years.
Here are a few of Kimmel’s better lines for advertisers:
- This year, as you’ve noticed, we scaled back a lot. There’s no party, no food. ABC may be the worst date ever. We expect you to put out and we’re not even buying you a drink.
- We’ve decided to concentrate less on the afterparty and more on shows that aren’t ‘Cavemen.’
- By the way, there’s about a 40 percent chance you’ll see me at the Fox upfront on Thursday.
- Here at ABC we are very excited about both our new shows.
- TV sets are bigger than ever, kids are fatter than ever and gas has never been more expensive. We have the whole country on their couches right now. If we can’t sell them stuff, we should all be very ashamed of ourselves.