Asked if their plan to stop paying a dividend masks some ominous inability to pay its debts, Warner Music Group Edgar Bronfman Jr. summoned his inner storyteller to assuage investors fears…

“Given the uncertain economic environment — as we look at what levers do we want to pull as we sail our ship, that no matter what currents run under the water or winds blow above the water, we are going to be nowhere near the shoals or the rocks we don’t anticipate.”

Nice, eh? Soothing even.

Okay, Shakespeare, it aint. But hey, don’t forget, Bronfman has written music performed by the likes of Celine Dion, Barbra Streisand and Dionne Warwick. He may not be able to get Madonna back on his roster, but a co-written hit tune?

Not impossible…

(Photo: Reuters file)