Blog Guy, I know all contact sports have risks. Boxing, football, fencing, they can all take their toll. Is there any threat that is especially common to soccer players?

Absolutely. There is the tragedy of soccer blindness, as seen here in these terrifying photos. It afflicts hundreds of players every year, usually during an actual game.

Is it curable?

Yes, the player’s sight usually returns after someone leads him to the shower.

Blog Guy, I don’t want to second-guess your obvious expertise here, but it just looks like this guy’s shirt rode up on his face, and covered his eyes. I mean, it looks that simple.

You know nothing about it. For instance, in addition to loss of sight, the player in these photos complained of lack of smell and an “unusual tightness” across his cheeks.

He also suffered arm and wrist injuries trying to get into the locker room.

I’m so sorry, I didn’t know. Are they researching this cursed condition?

Yes, and I’m sure they’ll set up a charity soon. Please give generously. This athlete has suffered enough.

Join the Oddly Enough blog network

Follow this blog on Twitter at rbasler

Getafe’s Francisco Javier Casquero celebrates a goal against Espanyol during their Spanish first division soccer match at Cornella-El Prat stadium, near Barcelona, November 22, 2009. REUTERS/Albert Gea

More stuff from Oddly Enough

Blog Guy, I need Christmas gift shopping advice for my boyfriend. I want something really special. Help!

How about a new Beamer?

No, he already drives a Lexus and loves it.

Not a Bemer, a BEAMER! The hot new gadget this season is the Bikini Beamer 3000, which beams bikini-clad models right to his bachelor pad, in minutes.

LIVE women?

Sure. I think it would be pretty sick to beam in dead ones.

Gosh, I think my boyfriend would really like one of those. Bikini Beamer 3000, huh? Is it sold under any other name?

Well, since the photo caption says this model’s name is Virginia Labrador, I suppose it might also be called a…

No! Don’t go there, Blog Guy! Please!

A Labrador Retriever….

Join the Oddly Enough blog network

Follow this blog on Twitter at rbasler

Virginia Labrador as a contestant in the Miss Sevilla pageant, poses during a presentation in the Andalusian capital of Seville, Spain, November 17, 2009. REUTERS/Marcelo del Pozo

More stuff from Oddly Enough

Readers know that while I often blog about stupid fashions, all I want to do is laugh at them. If you actually come here to LEARN something about fashion, boy are you in the wrong place.

Where you should probably be instead is at “Daddy Likey,” by a blogger named Winona Dimeo-Ediger, who is informative AND cracks me up.

You have to admire a fashion author/blogger who says, “My life’s dream is to be a train conductor. Mostly for the hat.”

Now, in addition to Winona’s blog  you can buy her new brand-new book, “Closet Confidential.” It’s very funny and offers all you need to know if you want to dress like a chick, or even if, like me, you don’t,

I sent Winona a couple of genuine fashion photos, below, as sort of a test of her taste, and here is her response:

Left: Designers this season warned models to stay home if they showed symptoms of the H1N1 virus, but apparently the Black Death is not a problem.

Right: Kathie Lee Gifford’s new collection for Wal-Mart, Sassy Arabian Pocahontas Sportswear, has been called “a bit muddled” by the fashion press…

Interestingly enough, it turns out Winona herself owns the exact outfit on the right, and often wears it for days at a time. I guess nobody’s perfect.

Join the Oddly Enough blog network

Follow this blog on Twitter at rbasler

Left: Model presents a creation by British designer Vivienne Westwood at the Fashionable Istanbul show in Istanbul, October 25, 2009. REUTERS/Murad Sezer

Right: Model presents a creation by Ukrainian designer Natali Bolgar during Moscow Fashion Week, October 25, 2009. REUTERS/ Alexander Natruskin

More stuff from Oddly Enough

Blog Guy, don’t get me wrong. I love the fact that you post fresh stuff on Saturdays and Sundays, and I enjoyed learning about balloon animal makers and naked hokey pokey this weekend.

Thanks. But?

Well, I thought maybe if you used a few more gratuitous photos from the big Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show in New York it might artificially pump up your weekend numbers. I know it’s a cheap trick, but times are hard.

Indeed. I take your point, stranger. Three fresh photos from the big show, and I’ll throw in tags like lingerie and models and fashion and stuff like that. Thanks for the suggestion!

Um, Blog Guy, this isn’t exactly what I had in… oh, never mind….

Join the Oddly Enough blog network

Follow this blog on Twitter at rbasler

Left: Actor Kyle MacLauglin arrives for the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show in New York, November 19, 2009.

Center: Actor Jeremy Sisto arrives for the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show.

Right: Sir Richard Branson, founder and president of Britain’s Virgin Group, arrives for the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show.

REUTERS photos by Carlo Allegri

More stuff from Oddly Enough

Blog Guy, I’m looking to hire an entertainer for my daughter’s fourth birthday party. Can you recommend somebody who makes balloon animals? I want the very best.

Sure. I’d go for this guy in China. Look how good he is.

What the hell is he making there?

Uh, I think that’s his famous Yellow Earthworm with Green Scales.”

Blog Guy, you’re a dolt. That man is a chef. He’s cutting cucumbers with a sharp cleaver on a balloon, to show his technique.

Whatever. So are you going to hire him for the party?

You’re deranged, Blog Guy. Why would I bring a man with a razor-sharp cleaver to a party for small children?

Well, it’s my understanding the Birthday Girl gets to eat the cucumbers.

Join the Oddly Enough blog network

Follow this blog on Twitter at rbasler

A chef cuts a cucumber on a balloon to show his skills during a cooking competition in Hefei, Anhui province November 20, 2009. REUTERS/Jianan Yu

More stuff from Oddly Enough

Blog Guy, help settle an argument with my wife. What’s the most popular dance? I say it’s the tango, but she says it’s the samba. So? So? Which is it?

You’re both wrong. It’s the naked hokey pokey. Haven’t you noticed the proliferation of naked hokey pokey dance clubs and cable shows?  Where do you live, Wyoming?

I think I would know about something like that. How did this craze get started, anyway?

Think about it. If you’re dressed, there are limits to the body parts you can put in and out and shake them all about. But if you get buck-naked, it adds, uh, variety.

Blog Guy, are you totally out of you mind?

Well sure, but that’s a different topic. Are we done with the naked hokey pokey?

Join the Oddly Enough blog network

Follow this blog on Twitter at rbasler

Men undergo a medical examination for the People’s Liberation Army land forces in Zhaoping county, Guangxi Zhuang Autonomous Region November 20, 2009.  REUTERS/China Daily

Dancers perform during a dress rehearsal of the tango musical Tanguera at Berlin’s Staatsoper, July 9, 2009. REUTERS/Thomas Peter  

More stuff from Oddly Enough

Okay, this is the point we’ve come to in America.

We are told in a bunch of captions that this is a $3 million bra, but we are given no clue as to why it costs at least two and a half million dollars more than a regular bra.

Here are some possible reasons for that price tag, but these are only wild guesses…

• The model comes with it?
• It’s made from real t-bone steak?
• All proceeds from the sale go to fight Lupus?
• It’s half of an outfit worn by Lee Majors in a very special episode of The Six Million Dollar Man?

Victoria’s Secret slideshow

Join the Oddly Enough blog network

Follow this blog on Twitter at rbasler

Above: Model Marisa Miller presents a $3 million bra during the 2009 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show in New York, November 19, 2009. REUTERS/Lucas Jackson

Right: Model Marisa Miller poses with the $3 million dollar bra, November 19, 2009. REUTERS/Carlo Allegri

More stuff from Oddly Enough

You all know me, I’m not a judgmental kind of guy. But on some rare occasions I DO form strong opinions, and gosh darn it, if I’m not careful I’m afraid I’ll go after somebody with this pickle fork I’m holding.

What do I see on our photo file? Levi Johnston at TWO glitzy Los Angeles galas in one evening, including the GQ magazine “Men of the Year” party.

In one of the photos, he’s shown with his “bodyguard.” I am not making this up.

I won’t bother telling you who this guy is - if you’ve been awake at some point over the past 18 months you already know - but cripes! Men of the year? Levi Johnston?

I can only presume, then, that former presidential candidate John Edwards, South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford, Lenny and Squiggy and Ratso Rizzo, all equally deserving, were not available?

Hey look, Levi, you ever seen a pickle fork? Say, what time does your bodyguard go home?

Join the Oddly Enough blog network

Follow this blog on Twitter at rbasler

Combo, clockwise: Levi Johnston (R), who fathered a child with Bristol Palin, daughter of former Alaska governor Sarah Palin,is escorted by his bodyguard at US Weekly party in West Hollywood, November 18, 2009. REUTERS/Fred Prouser

Former candidate John Edwards in a 2008 file photo. REUTERS/Jeff HAYNES

South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford wipes his eyes as he speaks to the media and admits to an extramarital affair, in Columbia, South Carolina, June 24, 2009.  REUTERS/Erik Campos

Lenny and Squiggy, “Laverne and Shirley” publicity shot

Lower right: Levi Johnston at the 14th annual GQ magazine “Men of the Year” party in Los Angeles, November 18, 2009. REUTERS/Mario Anzuoni

Lower left: Ratso Rizzo, “Midnight Cowboy” publicity shot

More stuff from Oddly Enough

Well fashion fans, it won’t be long now. It’s the evening of the big Victoria’s Secret annual holiday fashion show. I mean, most of YOU won’t see it today, because it won’t be aired for a couple of weeks, but we’ll have lots of still photos for you and if you flip through them real fast, it’s just like being there.

Meanwhile, the models have to finish getting prepared for the show.

Here, one of them is seen loading up on the six and a half calories she gets every day. I can’t quite tell what this slop is, but it’s not fried onion rings and doughnuts, I’ll tell you that.

If you look at the bottom edge of her plate, it looks as though she has scooted some kind of bean away from the rest of the food. No telling what kind of damage a bean can do.

Or maybe it’s just that she can’t quite lift it to her mouth.

Come back tomorrow, for full coverage.

Join the Oddly Enough blog network

Follow this blog on Twitter at rbasler

Model Caroline Winberg eats backstage at the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show in New York November 19, 2009. REUTERS/Carlo Allegri

More stuff from Oddly Enough

According to the founder of the World Toilet Organization, the reason people are so reluctant to talk about hygiene is that it isn’t cool. He may have a point.

Television and movies show us what’s cool, and they don’t show toilets. Sure, Fonzie frequently checked out his hair in the bathroom, but you just saw a mirror.

All of this could have been different if the toilet lobby had gotten into product placement early on.

Imagine the coolest characters in movie history. What if…

• Dirty Harry emerged from the men’s room to blast the punks, waddling with his trousers around his ankles…
• The last line in the immortal “Casablanca” was, “Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship. Stop a sec, I gotta wizz…”
• In “The Great Escape,” Steve McQueen escaped the Nazis by pulling his motorcycle into a rest stop and slipping into a men’s room stall.
• The iconic quote was: “Bond, James Bond. You got a crapper I can use?”

Join the Oddly Enough blog network

Follow this blog on Twitter at rbasler

Above: Actors Hugh Jackman and Kate Winslet slide down a large inflatable toilet slide for the premiere of the animated feature “Flushed Away” in New York City in a 2006 file photo. REUTERS/ Lucas Jackson

Below: The actual bathroom of the late actor Roddy MacDowell is on display at the Hollywood History Museum in a 2001 file photo. REUTERS/Fred Prouser

More stuff from Oddly Enough