Hey, I’m trying to pick you up! What’s the barf bag for?

July 11, 2006

“The only thing your eyes haven’t told me is your name…” They must have told me your IQ, or I wouldn’t be using lines like these… 

The fabled pick-up line.  The single sentence that will melt a woman’s heart.  Now, a publisher has printed the so-called top ten such lines, in several languages, so if they don’t work in English you can try in Czech, German, and so on, until the woman falls off her barstool with wine spritzer spewing from her nose.

The lines are also offered in Italian and French, because the publisher says they are “the same no matter what language you are speaking.” Yeah, that explains why French and Italian guys always seem to need so much help.

By the way, that “…only thing your eyes haven’t told me…” line is only number ten, and obviously it wouldn’t pick up road kill.  The book’s number one line is so truly, truly awful, you could go blind just reading it. This blog isn’t responsible if you go past this point: romance300.jpg 

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The UK Publisher’s U.S. counterpart is in the process of publishing a sequel to the book, for which the working title is Top Pick-Up Lines To Use on Men.
Some of the top pick-up lines being considered for the newest edition include:

10. I’m easy.
9. I like sex.
8. I’m non-committal.
7. I have my own money.
6. I’m not wearing any underwear.
5. I’d like to not be wearing any underwear
4. That girl over there is really hot, do you think she’d get with us?
3. No, absolutely, I love porn!
2. Oh, yeah… my parents.. I don’t speak to them anymore
And the potential #1 pick-up line for the new Top Pick-Up Lines to Use on Men book…
1. Actually, A-Rod’s batting average for the 05 season was .321…you’re thinking of 04, THAT’S when it was .286, give him some credit! What say we take some Miller Lite back to my place and watch the game on my brand new HD big screen?

Posted by Melly | Report as abusive

So I’m curious, what is the truly truly awful number one line that I could go blind reading? (I went to the link but you didn’t mention it in the article and there’s no way I’m buying the book)

Blog editor replies: I’m sorry if we didn’t make it clear, but the actual number one pick-up line was the first sentence of the linked story: “Was your father a thief? Because he stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.” Is that doing anything for you?

Posted by Lynette | Report as abusive