And DON’T make it sound like the dead guy had any fun…

February 23, 2007

The Catholic Church in Australia, worried that some eulogies for the dead are getting too long-winded, has imposed a five-minute limit on them.

The church also said that certain areas of the dead person’s life are now off-limits in eulogies, notably drinking and sex. Of course, if sex and drinking are now taboo topics, eulogies will probably automatically get a lot shorter. Heck, for some people, the eulogies may just disappear altogether.

Oddly Enough Blog
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Barmaid Nikki with customers at Wild West Saloon in The Exchange Hotel at Kalgoorlie in Western Australia, in a 2001 photo. REUTERS/Will Burgess

3 comments

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“Fred was such a good man. He always concerned himself with the well-being of others. He will be sorely miss…:::BUZZ::: Damn. Time’s up. Sorry folks.”

Posted by K | Report as abusive

One doesn´t know how long the Australian Catholics make their speeches, but somehow, had these been big, much the better for the Catholic Community. It might be a feeling of mystic union.

I was working homicide and natural causes out of the northwest parish when I came face-to-face with ‘Windy’ Harry. Harry had run afoul of the Church when his monologue was repeatedly interrupted by a second, deeper voice originating somewhere inside the back of his trousers. The vocal rendition of the lecture would have run only four minutes and thirty seconds, but with the frequent paused for baritone accompaniment, the speech ran well over seventeen minutes. It’s my job to make sure that time runs out for Windy and violators like him.
My name’s Sunday. I work out of the New South Wales bishoporic. I’m a eulogy enforcer.

Posted by Shawn Hendricks | Report as abusive