Dying high on the Hog…

May 25, 2007

hearse300.jpgDear Blog Guy,
I’ve been trying to plan a funeral for myself, just in case, and I’m looking for things to make it truly memorable. Any ideas?
Planning Ahead

Yes. As Dylan said – that’s Dylan Thomas – “Do not go gentle into that good night.” The folks at Tombstone Hearse Company can fix you up with old-fashioned hearse powered by a modified Harley-Davidson.

So here’s your chance to irritate people one more time, with the unbearable vroom of a motorcycle, and you won’t be bothered by it at all! Once you’ve arranged that, maybe you can find some mimes and accordion players to perform at the service. Deborah Lutterbeck reports:


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Those Keebler Elves come up with so much magical goodness it’s almost frightening.

Posted by Shawn Hendricks | Report as abusive

Want to get it on with a Goth chick? Here’s your chance! For the low, low introductory price of just $79,990

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I’m visualizing a James Bond chase scene.

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How do you not use this for a prank?

Posted by Shawn Hendricks | Report as abusive

I want my hearse to be a clown car. When we get to the cemetary, I want at least 30 clowns (wearing black and white..but still clowns, not mimes) to climb out and run around frowning very animatedly at everyone. Then right before they lower me into the ground, I want someone to smash a champagne bottle on my coffin like a ship launch. Afterwards, there should be cake (in the shape of the Grim Reaper) and ice cream (I say mint chocolate chip). Then I insist that at least one person spend the night in the cemetary beside my grave on the off chance that I’ve been buried alive and awaken and need assistance. I suppose I should be buried with a walkie-talkie just in case.

Anyway, have a nice weekend!

Posted by K | Report as abusive

Read Grave Matters by Mark Harris. The hearse deal is lame.

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