Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Wait boss, I’m not done contradicting you!

September 10, 2007

It turns out this woman was fired from a company in Xiamen, China, for talking back to her boss for a third time. Yes, it seems her employer actually has a three-strike policy on “contradicting” a superior. The first two times you do it, you get fined. The third time, they fire you. 

Folks, my very strong advice is, don’t waste those first two golden opportunities. Think of the many poor workers who don’t get two safe shots at dissing their bosses. Some helpful pointers:

  • Write down everything you want to say in your “contradiction” on recipe cards, and rehearse. If you run out of space, write on the back.
  • Take a bathroom break before you start, so your ”contradiction” can go for hours. 
  • Learn the guitar chords for ”Take this Job and Shove it,” and sing it during the “contradiction.” Make sure you translate it to Chinese first.
  • Lastly, make sure you know the company’s definition of “contradict,” and exploit it fully. In some progressive workplaces, seltzer bottles, cow pies and taser weapons may be used in “contradicting” the boss.  

Let the wild “contradictions” begin! Here’s the story:

More Oddly Enough Blog

xiamen-300.jpg

 

A worker checks an iron between assembly lines at a Xiamen factory in a 2001 file photo. REUTERS/Guang Niu

Comments

If you had that policy I would have lasted 26 minutes at Reuters instead of 26 years. What a country!

 

Today’s generation may never have used a rotary-dial telephone and be baffled by its functioning. Case in point.

Posted by Shawn Hendricks | Report as abusive
 

If the contradiction is, “It is not hot,” then your employee may actually benefit from being fired instead of fried.

Posted by Shawn Hendricks | Report as abusive
 

I smell a new Disney cartoon! Wait. Maybe that’s just cheek being singed.

Posted by Shawn Hendricks | Report as abusive
 

Now, how do I get my Thiamine?

Posted by Shawn Hendricks | Report as abusive
 

“Supersphincter say what?”

Posted by Lady Weasel | Report as abusive
 

Everyone occasionally took the opportunity to play tricks on poor blind Mary. Tom took it entirely too far, however, as he led her into her new job “testing telephones”.

Posted by K | Report as abusive
 

She took the term “Ironing out the wrinkles” a little too seriously.

Posted by K F | Report as abusive
 

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