What happens in Rat Island stays in…

October 2, 2007

Okay, would-be graduates of the Acme School of Marketing. For your final exam, you must work up a campaign to attract tourists to romantic Rat Island, in the remote Aleutian island chain.

Yes, good question about the name. Well, rats pretty much run the place, ever since they migrated there from a shipwrecked vessel in 1780, but they do help keep prices down for cost-conscious tourists, unlike fancy places like Nantucket which are not crawling with rodents. Here are some slogans to get you started:

  • Rat Island: Welcoming guests since 1780
  • A romantic Rat Island getaway: say cheese!
  • Rat Island: Sounds like Rhode Island, only different…
  • When is the last time rats killed anybody, anyway?

Yareth Rosen reports:

rats-this-300.jpg
Rat Island in a 2006 file photo. REUTERS/Alaska Maritime National Wildlife Refuge/Handout

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13 comments

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A couple thousand cats should tidy the place up a bit.

Posted by K. | Report as abusive

That’s easy: advertise tours of Rat Island in a part of the world where most people have never seen a rat. One man’s pest is another man’s wild animal, after all.

Posted by Charlene | Report as abusive

A couple hundred Chinese restauranteurs should tidy the place up a bit.

Posted by Shawn Hendricks | Report as abusive

Rat. The other dark meat.

Posted by Shawn Hendricks | Report as abusive

Wasn’t an old woman who swallowed a…

Hm
hmhmhm
hm

Nope. Wrong island.

Posted by Shawn Hendricks | Report as abusive

Was the ship on a three hour tour? A three hour tour?

Posted by Shawn Hendricks | Report as abusive

Simple. Move the island next to France and temporarily submerge it. Voile!

Posted by Shawn Hendricks | Report as abusive

Scientists are at a loss to explain the large number of oval tracks that have appeared on the island.

Posted by Shawn Hendricks | Report as abusive

If we could just introduce peregrine falcons to the island. I hear those birds are some good eating.

Posted by Shawn Hendricks | Report as abusive

I gotta invent a snake leash so I can take Petrie out for long walks along the beach.

Posted by Shawn Hendricks | Report as abusive

Willard-free since 1978.

Posted by Shawn Hendricks | Report as abusive

Anybody know where the twenty-foot high, stone, Bill Clinton statues came from?

Posted by Shawn Hendricks | Report as abusive

I think the rats have an alliance. I’m stil voting, though.

Posted by Shawn Hendricks | Report as abusive

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