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What happens in Rat Island stays in…
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Okay, would-be graduates of the Acme School of Marketing. For your final exam, you must work up a campaign to attract tourists to romantic Rat Island, in the remote Aleutian island chain.
Yes, good question about the name. Well, rats pretty much run the place, ever since they migrated there from a shipwrecked vessel in 1780, but they do help keep prices down for cost-conscious tourists, unlike fancy places like Nantucket which are not crawling with rodents. Here are some slogans to get you started:
- Rat Island: Welcoming guests since 1780
- A romantic Rat Island getaway: say cheese!
- Rat Island: Sounds like Rhode Island, only different…
- When is the last time rats killed anybody, anyway?
Rat Island in a 2006 file photo. REUTERS/Alaska Maritime National Wildlife Refuge/Handout
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A couple thousand cats should tidy the place up a bit.
That’s easy: advertise tours of Rat Island in a part of the world where most people have never seen a rat. One man’s pest is another man’s wild animal, after all.
A couple hundred Chinese restauranteurs should tidy the place up a bit.
Rat. The other dark meat.
Wasn’t an old woman who swallowed a…
Hm
hmhmhm
hm
Nope. Wrong island.
Was the ship on a three hour tour? A three hour tour?
Simple. Move the island next to France and temporarily submerge it. Voile!
Scientists are at a loss to explain the large number of oval tracks that have appeared on the island.
If we could just introduce peregrine falcons to the island. I hear those birds are some good eating.
I gotta invent a snake leash so I can take Petrie out for long walks along the beach.
Willard-free since 1978.
Anybody know where the twenty-foot high, stone, Bill Clinton statues came from?
I think the rats have an alliance. I’m stil voting, though.