There is nothing I can add to this one to make it stranger than it already is. Turns out, there has been such a sharp increase in naked sleepwalking recently that a hotel group is actually training its staff to deal with late-night nudity.
The hotel people say sleepwalking rose seven-fold in the past year, which must mean you can’t walk down the hall for ice without thinking you’re in a Spencer Tunick photograph. An increase as dramatic as that sounds more like zombies than sleepwalkers.
Hotel staffers are being told to keep towels ready at the front desk for these incidents, so I guess tasers aren’t widely available yet. Here’s the weirdest part: our story says sleepwalking may be brought on by eating cheese. I am not making this up. “You put down that gouda, Lonnie, it’s after eight o’clock!” Read all about it.
Dairy products are displayed at a market in Santa Monica, California October 3, 2007. REUTERS/Lucy Nicholson
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This is the greatest headline in the history of journalism, but it would also serve as an excellent title for a Monster Chiller Horror Theater feature.
- Posted by CharleneCheese-eating CONSTIPATED nude sleepwalkers on the prowl do you mean?
- Posted by Shawn HendricksEating cheese? Have they considered Ambien as a catalyst for the sleepwalking phenomenon?
- Posted by Lady WeaselDoes Wallace (as in Wallace and Grommit) sleepwalk, too?
- Posted by Lady WeaselJohnny’s got to stop playing Dire Straits.
- Posted by Shawn HendricksSame thing happens with my Roach Motel.
- Posted by Shawn HendricksSo stop hosting sleep-walker conventions. Duh!
- Posted by Shawn HendricksSorry. Sorry.
- Posted by Shawn HendricksNot for nothing, but isn’t Hotel and Restaurant Management one of the easiest four-year degrees to earn?
- Posted by Shawn HendricksWith my luck…
It would be my granddad.
- Posted by Shawn HendricksIt would be Rosanne Barr and Hillary Clinton.
It would happen while I was on vacation on the night of the Hawaiian Tropic model visit.
It would be Wilford Brimley.
It would be ‘Fat Oprah.’
I’d be sitting at my PC, blogging (sigh).
Last night’s cheese-eating nude sleepwalkers on the prowl was quite obviously also very, very cold.
- Posted by Shawn HendricksDo they tell their clients the next morning? Do they wake sleepwalkers up? Do they take Polaroids or digital stills and would they tell us if they did? Who’s the biggest, fattest, stinkiest, most foul nude sleepwalker they have had? Who’s the hottest? Do they get more nude men going to the front desk with a female or male receptionist? What would Freud say about all this? Jung? Neitze? Has a nude sleepwalker ever been tagged by hoodlums? What design or motto did they spraypaint and did they choose the largest ‘canvas?’ Has anybody ever died in one of the travel lodges while sleepwalking and how would they verify it was during sleepwalking and not while escaping from a failed rendevous? What percentage of sole occupants were sleepwalkers versus the percentage of multiple occupants who walked in their sleep?
- Posted by Shawn HendricksAnd would the grease faceprints on the inside of hotel room doors indicate the number of cheese-eating nude sleepwalkers who didn’t manage to open the door in their sleep?
No wonder they changed the name of Handel’s Lullabye Swiss Cheese to Alpine Lace.
- Posted by Shawn HendricksI think I would be sorely tempted to do something to the sleepwalkers. Nothing really bad…just paint something on them. Maybe cover them and their room in ketchup and then put a knife in their hand before waking them up abruptly. That sort of thing. That could be funny.
- Posted by KHoney! I was just sleepwalking! Where am I? Where is my Camembert?
- Posted by John C Abell