Skirting the urban enemy…

November 9, 2007

It is late, you’re a woman alone, and bad guys are chasing you. You round a corner and whip up your skirt. Instantly, you’re camouflaged as a vending machine, and the attackers keep going. Maybe this urban ploy will work, but you should consider:

  • What happens if the attackers, cranky because you got away, stop to enjoy a refreshing soft drink?
  • What about the roaming gangs that rob vending machines? Think they’ll be happy to find you?
  • Imagine the embarrassment if you think you’re wearing your vending machine skirt, but you’re really not.

Here’s the story, and here is the video report:


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Now if she can make dresses that camouflage someone as a flock of greasy pigeons, it would be more practical.

Posted by Lady Weasel | Report as abusive

A more impressive skirt would have different layers that resemble different shades of concrete and building materials. Then you’d be invisible when you went around the corner.

Of course, out where I live, you’d do better to have a skirt that makes you a tree or pile of leaves. And of course, for my enemies, a skirt that resembles a white-tailed deer…

Posted by K | Report as abusive

Two words: portable gyrocopter.

Posted by John C Abell | Report as abusive

You’d have more options if you’d get yourselves some homeless people and I just might know where you can find some.*

*Transportation, import, upkeep and lack of tax payment are the responsibility of the acquirer. Not responsible for regrettable acts performed by imported homeless. May cause rectal or spinal discomfort, nausea, vomiting, headache, diarrhea, shortness of breath, halitosis or foot fungus. Not recommended for pregnant or nursing mothers, children or those taking MAOIs.

Posted by Shawn Hendricks | Report as abusive

[…] posted Skirting the Urban Enemy, about a special garment that lets  a woman in danger disguise herself as a vending machine. […]

Posted by Ed, that manhole called you a bozo! | | Report as abusive