“Wait! This gig offers dental, right?”

November 26, 2007

I’m getting a stream of e-mails from college seniors, frantic over what kind of career to choose in just a few months. Okay, write this down: if there is a job opportunity in which you are expected to hold an apple in your mouth while a dude the color of a Smurf slices into it with a chainsaw, that is not a career for you, even if it pays $8.20 an hour and is sort of show business.

Oh, don’t get me wrong. I’m sure this young woman’s parents are very proud of her, and she is getting to see Peru. But if she had taken more home economics courses, or even watched a classic Honeymooners episode, she would know there are far easier ways to disassemble fruit.

If you’re still tempted, watch this slideshow:


A performer from the U.S. known as “The Enigma” uses a chainsaw to cut an apple placed in the mouth of his assistant during his show at the International Tattoo Convention in Lima November 24, 2007. REUTERS/Pilar Olivares

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Well.. It IS awfully hard to cut an apple with a chainsaw when it’s sitting on top of her head. 😉

Posted by Lady Weasel | Report as abusive

Sure, you get three wishes, but at what price?

Posted by K | Report as abusive

A cherry would be more impressive…

Posted by K | Report as abusive

Right. I can’t get a bottle of mouthwash through airport security but a guy coverered in tattoos named “The Enigma” flies to Peru with a chainsaw.

Posted by John C Abell | Report as abusive

I like how she’s already wearing a hospital bracelet. Must save a lot of time for her…

Posted by Charlene | Report as abusive

You’re not Sir Isaac Newton, are you?

Posted by Shawn Hendricks | Report as abusive

The devil nubs on his brow are definitely overkill.

Posted by Shawn Hendricks | Report as abusive

I’m not sure what is the most sad; the extreme attention seekers or the voyeurs that gives them an audience ?

Posted by Dean Morton | Report as abusive