Don’t wear the bracelet on your neck, honey…

December 7, 2007

necklace-300.jpgBlog Guy, I want to get my wife  something nice for Christmas.  Do you have tips on jewelry and clothes?

Certainly. Guys often neglect to make sure there are easy-to-follow directions showing  how to wear a necklace, dress or whatever.

Oh, the stories I could tell about folks who were publicly humiliated  because they didn’t bother to read the manual.     

All your finest shops include colorful instruction  booklets such as, “How to Wear Your New Ruby Ring.” I don’t mean to frighten you, but here are some cautionary tales to show that even trained professionals can make mistakes:

Me? I thought YOU told her about bracelets!  

Zoe regretted buying an outfit tagged “assembly required”  

Model misses the whole point of a necklace…  

Introducing the waist-necklace? 

Psssssssst! Your dress is on upside down!

REUTERS photo by Susana Vera

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Well, you know, they ARE models. I don’t envy Ben Stein’s job right now. It must be tough to find a model with an IQ above that of a roll of paper towels.

I know, that was lame. But, I’m sitting here with chicken noodle soup dribbling down my chin while staring at the paper towels across the kitchen.

Pardon me while I go mop myself up.

Posted by K | Report as abusive

A model presents a style by designer, Davey Jones.

Posted by Lady Weasel | Report as abusive

As Katie began her free skate program based on the music from “The Epic of Gilgamesh”, she prayed that the judges would be grading her more on style than on technical skill, especially considering how difficult it was to pull off a triple Lutz wearing a chain mail beard.

Posted by Charlene | Report as abusive

“What the heck happened to all of the metal from my Biker jacket? Hannah! Have you seen it?” I asked.

“Unh-uh, Papa.” was her reply, with absolute innocense reflected in her dough-like eyes.

Since her helmetless tumble and coma she either tells lies with no conscience or she has only spotty memory. Perhaps in compensation, she has miraculously become a brilliant welder.

Posted by Shawn Hendricks | Report as abusive

If Marilyn had a dress like that, a little bit of Americana would never have been.

Posted by Shawn Hendricks | Report as abusive


I read this post and im really interesting on “ties”. I have a collection anykind of ties. Thanks for the ideas share, we will come back often.

Wear Jack

Posted by Wear Jack | Report as abusive