But Santa, you can’t swim!

December 24, 2007

‘Twas the night before Christmas, and out on the crick,
I saw a big fat guy – it must be Saint Nick!
Giving out gifts, his relatable craft,
Delivering stuff by inflatable raft!

He said, “I’ve got toys for your son and your daughter,
“They even get gifts if they live on the water!
“Every good child gets what he deserves!”
Then he shook when he laughed, like a bowl of preserves…

His eyes, how they twinkled, not at all vapid,
He shouted, “It’s time now to head for the rapids!”
But I heard
him exclaim, as he waved toward the docks,
“Merry Christmas to all! HEY! WATCH OUT FOR THOSE ROCKS!”


A man dressed as Santa Claus and children participate in a rafting event in Indonesia, December 22, 2007. REUTERS/Crack Palinggi

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“Relatable.” Way to reach!

Posted by Shawn Hendricks | Report as abusive

Where’s Jack ‘kinda cooler today,’ Mrs. Victoria’s Secret Clause, and the eight middling-sized orangutans headed up by Rogo Phosphorescent Snout?

Posted by Shawn Hendricks | Report as abusive

Santa doesn’t have a care in the world about his weight but is surprisingly concerned about his capsize.

Posted by Shawn Hendricks | Report as abusive

It’s harder work but much less stressful than roeing snails.

Posted by Shawn Hendricks | Report as abusive

Hey, “relatable” is a word, you can look it up. Besides, it’s Christmas Eve. Who the hell is going to read this, anyway?

Posted by Robert Basler | Report as abusive


Thanks man, for the laugh, I sort of needed that.

Posted by Snello | Report as abusive