In case you missed it, Kyrgyzstan has declared itself Santa’s new home, naming a mountain after him and calling 2008 “The Year of Santa Claus.” This came after engineers calculated Santa’s Christmas mission would be more efficient if it began in Central Asia.
Excuse me? Have you heard many complaints about Santa’s so-called inefficiency? I haven’t. If Kyrgyzstan is so well located, why don’t lots of world tours already start there? Plus, if Kyrgyz officials are so smart, why don’t they a) get some full-time vowels in their name and b) declare themselves the new home of Paris Hilton or somebody else who’s in the news all year round?
I’ll be honest here. The long-term impact on Christmas scares me. “Kids, let’s write our letters to Santa! Well, he used to live in the North Pole, but now he lives in Kyrg… Karj… Kerzj… Oh heck, let’s just write to Satan, instead!”
You can read the full story here.
Kyrgyz children return home after ‘The Best Santa’ contest in the village of Tash-Moinok, north of the capital Bishkek, December 23, 2007. REUTERS photos by Vladimir Pirogov
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3 comments so far
Does this mean we’ll have to leave out glasses of fermented yak’s milk for Santa from now on?
- Posted by CharleneSanta evicted?! This sub-prime problem really is bad.
- Posted by John C AbellDear Santa,
I always wondered about the whole compass thing but how about this alternate location? We all know that eastern Europe doesn’t celebrate Christmas on the same day as America and a continuity of operations site can be helpful.
Do you or the Missus need any curtains, house paint or landscaping? Let me know. Make sure you have some cash on hand to get your utilities hooked up. Oh, and ask about the post office welcome package; it usually includes local discounts.
You don’t exactly have a history of moving to new neighborhoods so please ask if you have any questions.
Welcome to your new neighborhood!
Number one on your Nice (and asleep) List,
Shawn
- Posted by Shawn Hendricks