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Some pig farmers have a problem. In what they call a last-ditch attempt to save Britain’s pork industry, they are releasing a song on the Internet, called “Stand by your Ham.” See, it’s a reworking of “Stand by your Man,” with a porcine theme.
I’m not sure their choice is quite catchy enough to get the job done. Why didn’t they go for one of the better-known songs from the pork genre? Johnny Cash’s iconic “I Walk the Loin,” Sonny and Cher’s 60′s anthem “I Got You Babe,” the sentimental barbershop quartet standard “Pig ‘o My Heart,” or that favorite from the musical “South Pacific,” “Dites-Moi, Pork-Qua,” just to name a few.
But then again, with photos like these floating around, maybe it’s too late for songs.
Piglets in an undated file photo. REUTERS/University of Missouri-Columbia/Handout
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I spent a summer studying in Britain when I was in grad school. They don’t have barbeque joints. I am southern. I suffered withdrawal. Instead of writing songs, somebody needs to open a chain of barbeque places. That would solve the problem.
I have a secret sauce recipe that is so good it will make you slap yo’ mama. Investors? Hello?!
Why not teach them to fly and start a circus?
Both are crackling ideas.
After they take off the feet for picling, the skin for rinds and the bellies for bacon, I wonder what they do with the leftover waste products.