Your face could freeze like that…

February 25, 2008

fashion-tongue-160.jpgHere is an uplifting, inspirational story. When children  make grotesque faces, all parents say: “Your face could freeze like that. It happened to a girl I read about today in the paper.”

Well, who knew? There really is a condition called “Ugly Frozen Face.” I know, because I read about it today in the paper. A victim of this syndrome, a plucky lass named Tiffany, battled her way up to  model in a major fashion show. The audience cheered her wildly. 

The thing is, she wore such repulsive designs that nobody even noticed her face! Backstage, our gullible Tiffany said, “I’m taking off this gross piece of barf outfit before it freezes to my body. That happened to a model I read about today in the paper.”


A model presents a creation by Honey mi Honey at the Kobe Collection Spring/Summer 2008 in Tokyo February 23, 2008.  REUTERS/Kiyoshi Ota

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It had happened before — too often before: Amber began to hallucinate, weakness from the food denied her conspiring with a force-fed sensory overload on the runway.

Few noticed — or at least admitted to it anymore — when Amber retreated to her happy place, the seven-year-old girl who did not know this would be the last popsicle she would ever be allowed.

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Fashion show attendees were appalled when a model on the runway began making faces at a little boy seated in the front row. After the boy’s mother whisked him away to safety, the model was harshly reprimanded and returned to her cage…

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See, this is what happens when you let Gene Simmons loose in the fashion world!

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