Help me, I’m in a grape jam!

March 13, 2008

grape-2-crop-160.jpgMaybe you saw, this guy sued a store for $600,000. He says a squashed grape got lodged under the sole of his shoe, making him slip and fall. I’ve been trying to duplicate this, like folks who shoot at cantaloupes trying to make a point about the JFK assassination.

I bought six pounds of grapes and I’ve stepped on them in every room of my home. Rugs, wood floors, kitchen tiles, the stairs. No luck. Coating them in Crisco did nothing. I took running leaps onto them, I blindfolded myself, I crazy-glued them to my flip-flops. I even put some under a banana peel, but I’m still standing.

I give up. Time to move on. But now what I really need is for someone to come over and help clean up this mess before my wife gets home.


A grape something like this… Denmark’s Minister for food, Agriculture and Fisheries Eva Kjer Hansen eats a grape in a 2007 file photo. REUTERS/Miguel Vidal

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Filing lawsuits is America’s national pastime. I ought to know – I’ve been a paralegal 23 years! Thank God for grapes and spills, and ticked off employees – otherwise I wouldn’t have a job!
BTW, just because he asks for $600K doesn’t mean he’ll get it. I bet he gets $5,000, at most. After he pays his lawyer and deducts expenses, that works out to about $1,000.

Posted by Dee T | Report as abusive

It was cruel, what you did to this poor woman. They do not call it the WORLD WIDE web for nothing. Now she has to dung through piles of spam and junk mail sent by dentists from every nation on Earth. If she just happens to be a stamp collector, you might be forgiven, but did you know that going into this? Did you?

Posted by Shawn Hendricks | Report as abusive

What on earth is Shawn Hendricks waffling on about? does anyone else see how it is relevant to the grape issue? – and this incident actually happened in an English supermarket chain – M&S – and typically us English do not sue everyone at the drop of the hat, i´d imagine the fellow involved was probably vacationing from the U.S

Posted by Bill | Report as abusive