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Professor Vomit, I need more fire!
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Blog Guy, I really need your famous career advice. I got into Harvard, but now I can’t find the courses I need to prepare me for the lucrative field of carnival sideshows. Help!
You’re not the first to make that mistake, but you caught it in time. One word for you: Vomit. As in Professor Donny Vomit, of the famous Coney Island Sideshow School, where you can study sword swallowing, fire eating, sleeping on nails - everything you need to see why the word sideshow is synonymous with glitz and glamour.
In no time, you can be stubbing out cigars on your tongue! Remember their motto, “Be a freak in just one week!”
Sideshow slideshow, and related post: Hit me with a shovel!
A student swallows fire, and teacher Donny Vomit demonstrates how to hammer a nail up his nose during a class at the Coney Island Sideshow school in Coney Island, New York, April 10, 2008. REUTERS photos by Mike Segar
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Dear College Kid:
Clearly your high school counselor failed you miserably. Your application was supposed to go to Hamburger College, not Harvard University. It’s an easy mistake to make, of course. Ahem…
The funny thing is, without the nail, that probably would hurt alot.