Stupid story gets much stupider

May 6, 2008

schiller-120.jpgRecently I told you about Friedrich Schiller, the famous German writer. Folks dug up a skull they thought was his, and then 100 years later they dug up another and debated which one was really him.

Then they dug up the remains of his son and grandson for DNA comparisons, and dug up the grandson’s WIFE, because once you start digging up skulls, it’s so hard to stop.

Well. Scientists have finished testing, and I can tell you which was Schiller. NEITHER one! Yes, those dudes exhumed several generations of Schillers, their spouses, pets, neighbors and proctologists, just to amass a stack of skulls belonging to no one in particular.

So now they have a huge supply of Certified Nobody Skulls which I’m guessing will show up soon on eBay. I just hope they’ve learned a valuable lesson: when famous people die, decapitate them on the spot and save a lot of Sturm und Drang later.

skull-300.jpgOne of the skulls that isn’t Schiller’s is tested. REUTERS/ Handout/MDR

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I’m surprised one of the lab technicians didn’t just alter the results…

“Sure, that one’s his. Yup. Tests confirm it. Can we stop digging up bodies now?”

Posted by K | Report as abusive

hahaha! i hear you brother K – could not agree more infact. i personally have dug up a few bodies in my time (to put it modestly), in my profession its one of the perks of the job. but it also has its down sides. i think that his poems were pretty poor anyway and whats the point of only having a skull. if you´re gonna collect bones you want the whole thing or its not worth a penny.

Posted by john lloyd | Report as abusive

I would think that it would be more interesting to find out why he was in a mass burial?

Posted by Charles Goode | Report as abusive

What a ridiculous waste of time, energy and money!

Posted by Ajay Kamalakaran | Report as abusive

Schiller himself once said, “It is criminal to steal a purse, daring to steal a fortune, a mark of greatness to steal a crown.” I wonder what type of mark it is to steal the wrong skull.

Posted by Charlene | Report as abusive

None of these skulls
Are from Friedrich Schiller.

None of these skulls
Present belong

To the famous head
Of Friedrich Schiller.

When will Schiller’s bones come along?

Posted by Shawn Hendricks | Report as abusive

‘E were adopted.

Posted by Shawn Hendricks | Report as abusive

Maybe Mrs. Schiller’s son Friedrich wasn’t Mr. Schiller’s son. Hmmm? Maybe Naja? Oder? Or do they have hair attributed to Friedrich Schiller (which would nullify my arguments)?

Posted by Shawn Hendricks | Report as abusive

Crap! Got to stop blogging to keep my daughter/grandkid/great grandkids from seeing my mouldering noggin dug up from the ground (at least I will be too dead to learn whether or not I am the real father – sounds like something out of my favorite soap opera – and maybe there will be the marks from a hitherto undiscovered wound now revealed by my naked skull that implicates… the BUTLER! in my MURDER… But I digress).

Posted by Shawn Hendricks | Report as abusive

You know, it does look kind of like a soccer ball.

Posted by Shawn Hendricks | Report as abusive

Charles, I agree with you completely. Why was he buried in a mass grave? Was there some kind disaster and pandemic that we don’t know about?
And Shawn, honey, really, you have to comment of every story? Maybe it is time to get some sort of life. Just kidding, I love reading your comments.

Posted by Diane | Report as abusive

[…] is a beautiful charade.” Then again, it may relate to that Schiller dude, whose missing skull is the stupidest story of the year, and his concept of an aesthetic illusion. Or, if the model is using her navel for punctuation, […]

Posted by I can text-message with my bosom! | – Updated Every 20 Minutes | Report as abusive

[…] Guy, you blogged several times about the missing skull of German writer Friedrich Schiller. I see there’s another famous missing skull now, belonging to Australian outlaw Ned […]

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