Your last chance to become a super hero?

May 14, 2008

fusion-2-140.jpgJust what we need, another frickin’ super hero. This one’s “Fusion Man,” and check out the slideshow. I guess he has an okay act, if you’re impressed by a macho hunk soaring majestically over the Alps in a rocket suit, nothing below him but miles of blue sky. But I worry that all the good super personas have been taken, leaving nothing for guys like me.

I need something just a little safer, so I’m trademarking my own super character, “Airport Moving Sidewalk Man!” Picture the scene:

“Someone PLEASE help me! Ruffians have grabbed my duty-free Chivas Regal!”

“Fear not, gentle lady! “Airport Moving Sidewalk Man” is on their trail!”

“But they’re running, and you’re barely moving on that sidewalk! You’re an imbecile!”

“No need to thank me, ma’am, just doing what’s right…”

Related post: I’m Toothache Man! You know the drill!

fusion-1-360.jpgFormer professional Swiss military pilot Yves Rossy, also known as “Fusionman,” soars in the sky like a rocketeer in the southern Swiss Alps near Bex May 14, 2008. REUTERS/Denis Balibouse

11 comments

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Look!

Up in the sky!

Junior! Fetch me my twelve gague.

Posted by Shawn Hendricks | Report as abusive

I want one!

No, you idiot; the wing.

Posted by Shawn Hendricks | Report as abusive

The only way to land that kind of job full time is to land every time.

Posted by Shawn Hendricks | Report as abusive

[thought bubble]
If they’d just give me skates like I asked, I would be able to fly someplace warm. Instead, I have to land in a snow bank. It just ain’t fair.

Posted by Shawn Hendricks | Report as abusive

[thought bubble]
Do you speak German? I am from Switzerland. Why wouldn’t I be thinking in German? Of course if I did, almost none of you could understand what was inside the thought bubble. Why would I be thinking in English? You people are silly.

Posted by Shawn Hendricks | Report as abusive

Will you PLEASE stop it with the “I’m on the top of the world” lyrics?

Posted by Shawn Hendricks | Report as abusive

I’d tie a string to my chest, give the handle on the other end to some random kid in the park and tell him or her, “Wait for the wind to pick up and run really fast,” and then walk downwind until the string was tight and the kid was running before taking off. Classic.

Posted by Shawn Hendricks | Report as abusive

With only one person aboard there is no waiting for the bathroom! Wait. I think I’m missing something here.

Posted by Shawn Hendricks | Report as abusive

Dick Van Dyke is still around?

Posted by Shawn Hendricks | Report as abusive

Suicide bomber, meet suicide missile.

Posted by Shawn Hendricks | Report as abusive

Where’s the rest of the rocket? Never-mind!