Enjoy your lavish 38-cent lunch…move along…
This story puzzles me. A rich 80-year-old widow spent thousands of dollars on a “feast” for 100,000 people, hoping it would please the gods and open the doors of heaven for her. Our story says she spent $37,500 on the lunches.
For starters, there’s the math. It looks to me like she dropped a measly 38 cents per person. Hard to believe that counts as a feast, much less justifies the word “lavish” that local officials used to describe it.
Then there’s the theology. When you’re outside heaven trying to get in, you want a better argument than just, “Well, I recently bought lunch. Especially in light of that 38-cents figure, which didn’t allow for many hot hors d’oeuvres, festive cocktails or molten double-chocolate desserts.
This gesture could work against her. If some of her lunch guests get to heaven ahead of her, they’ll be all like, “We sure hope the food here is better that what we got from that old widow-lady! We never want to see her again!”