Memo to sales staff: Okay, what do we do when our swimwear business is slow? We invent a brand-new piece of clothing that people never even knew they needed.
So, I’m proud to unveil the SHOULDER DOILY! Every woman is going to want one. These thick woolen garments will have you sweating like a pig under the hot sun, sending attractive rivulets of flop sweat cascading down your stomach. All the fun of a sauna, all day long!
And, they send a playful message: “Hey, Big Boy! I bought a bikini to expose a lot of flesh, and now I’m covering it up with this thing, so maybe I’m conflicted. Are you feeling lucky today?”
More bikini news
A model walks the runway wearing Custo Barcelona creation by designer Custo Dalmau of Spain during ColombiaModa fashion show in Medellin July 31, 2008. REUTERS/Fredy Amariles
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2 comments so far
I don’t know if every woman will want one, but I can guarantee you that every grandmother will want to knit one.
(Why do I have a sneaking suspicion that no straight man subscribed to this blog will notice the shoulder pad?)
- Posted by CharleneWait a minute. This is swimwear we’re talking about, right? If she goes swimming wand then decides to nap while sunbathing it will shrink and choke her!
You can thank me later for pointing out the practical flaws…
On a separate note: Hooray for the tattoo!
On another separate note: Great comment Charlene!
- Posted by Bandage